* drowning in drunk sincerity

[leslie l. stretton]

and baby, come on
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING FAMILIAR ABOUT ME?

classes were finally in full swing, although that meant almost little to nothing to leslie stretton. before when she was planning on coming to university, she had taken as many classes as she could possible take as an incoming freshman. her advisor had suggested against it, but she had always been a hard worker. the way that she had looked at it was that she would take all of the classes to try to distract him from all of what was going on with her life. that however was a very large mistake. it would not take away from all of her problems. all it seemed to do was add to it. nearly a month into school and she had already been dropped from one class due to not showing up the first two days of class. in her mind, that wasn't her fault because she had been nursing a rather lethal hangover both of those days and the professor didn't seem to want to have anything to do with the owls she sent to him. that was fine. she still had all of the other classes, and when her parents asked about it, she had the excuse that the class was a higher level than freshman and she had opted out to taking it next year. whenever it came to her parents, she could bullshit them pretty well enough to make them believe her and stop asking questions. if only they knew that their daughter was slowly turning into a raging alcoholic before christmas break even came around.

to her though, there wasn't anything wrong with her besides the usual. so she liked to have a drink or two? there wasn't anything wrong with that. it was all apart of experiencing college for the first time. everyone went through it. not like her studies were already down the toilet, aside from that one class she got tossed from. besides, she had a system in store. the time for getting completely sloshed was only for on the weekends, when she could afford it. if she drank during the week, it was never too much.. except for those few days in the start of the term. there had just been too many parties for her to just say no. now that it was the weekend though, lulu planned on going out with a very nice bang. there was homework that was on her desk set to be due on monday, but she went out anyway. her roommate had gone home for the weekend, so lulu had had the room all to herself. friday night was spent at a very nice party hosted across the town at an older year's house, where she proceeded to get completely hammered. saturday morning was spent recovering for a while, eventually waking up around noon or so. she had herself a cup of coffee, attempted a little homework before getting ready to go out for festivities planned that night. that night was a party held somewhere on campus that took her an hour or two to find due to the fact that she had started drinking before even going to the party. hell if she cared that she was late. her drinking commenced again as soon as she arrived anyway.

it was only when sunday came around that things finally started to take a bad turn. one of her friends came to retrieve her from her dorm rather early in the morning, having passed out only a few hours before. he spoke of good alcohol, trippy potions, and pills that would blow her mind. who was she to say no? the weekend had already been a success at attempting to not feel anything. her depression hadn't once hit her except when she had stopped drinking and paused her life to try to do homework. that was why she gave it up after only an hour and went to get ready to go back out for the night. this is probably a point where she should have realized that therapy or other sorts of help like that was what she needed instead of turning to drugs and alcohol, but lulu didn't see anything that she was doing as wrong. what she was doing was a coping mechanism and there was nothing wrong with just wanting to not feel sad for a time. joining her friends, her day was spent mixing various pills with alcohol. laughs were made, joke were told. complete fools were made out of practically everyone that was around. although she probably wouldn't have remembered it, she even made out with one of her friends, but broke away only at the arrival of someone else into the room with a bottle of something she greatly wanted to taste. by the time that the sun was coming up, lulu had stumbled through a few campus building (even interrupting a class on accident thinking she was turning into the bathroom) just to make it back to her dormitory. she had polished off well over a bottle of whiskey they had combined with some hallucinogenic potion that her friends told her to try only about an hour ago. by the time she burst into her dorm, her roommate was awake and getting ready for her first class, rolling her eyes at lulu's state.

after her roommate had found her nearly dead on the floor of their shared room, lulu had thought perhaps she would have transferred rooms then. but it surprised her to see that she still stayed, and didn't really mind it except for when she decided to just go off on her for her constant drinking. the girl claimed that it was becoming a problem and all lulu did was shrug it off. she knew when she had a problem. this wasn't a problem. the mental battle she fought every day was a problem. why did no one see that it was just a release for her to be able to have a drink or two and enjoy her time? they didn't understand that even her cutting had becoming not enough and that was why she took to the bottle more often as of recently. lulu plopped herself down on her bed, sitting there and taking a moment to take her shoes off while her roommate started off on a lecture about how she needed to clean her act up. "what are you, my mother?" was the last thing that she remembered muttering to her before everything went black. what she had been staring at the back of her roommate's head as she brushed her hair in the mirror, hallucinating that her hairbrush was a fish. it was odd that she was brushing her head with a fish, lulu had thought. the next thing, she had slumped over and then fallen off of her bed. at first, her roommate just rolled her eyes and walked off to continue getting ready. it was only when she had come back a few minutes later after hearing noises coming from the other room that she discovered laying face up with bile coming from her mouth and looking rather pale. it only took a second for her to grab lulu and quickly apparate off to st. mungo's, knowing the school nurse wouldn't be able to do anything for her in time.

"get out of the way. bring that stretcher in here," a nurse called from the lobby where the two girls apparated, lulu hanging with no effort from her friend's arms. her face had lost almost all of its color, her lips pale as the moon. it wasn't long before she was being rushed by a team through the lobby and up towards a trauma room. while to her, it was like she wasn't hurting anyone but herself with her actions that she was doing. by going out and endlessly drinking, the only one who had to suffer form her actions was herself and that was exactly the way that she wanted it to be. only, she didn't realize how much it was putting on others who sat there and watched her drinking herself into nothing as if it was an answer. her roommate, a girl that she barely knew, had now closely saved her from death. she, like lulu, was a caring girl and despite all of her roommates apparent issues with alcohol and dealing with her problems, that never excused letting her drink herself to death. and lulu wouldn't know this until later, but she was causing pain the brother that she didn't even know. caden, someone from her past that she chose not to remember as he didn't want to apparently be apart of her life, had been one of the few people in the lobby that morning who stood aside to watch the nurses rush off his baby sister who looked close enough to dead. hell, she had been for a moment or two before they had brought her back (much as she would regret later). by the time leslie stretton came around hours later, her eyes first settled on the nurse who was checking on her vitals. words soon flowed from her mouth about how she was a lucky girl to have such friends, that she should have died this morning. "then why didn't you let me," she mumbled while turning her head away to look out the window away from the nurse. lulu waited for some kind of retort from the nurse, but was met with only silence. this puzzled her and as she turned to look back the other way, she discovered why. the nurse had excused herself and was walking out of the room, leaving the remaining person in the room standing in the doorway staring at her like she was a ghost. she didn't doubt that she probably did look like a ghost, having lost the color in her face again. to her, it was like seeing a ghost. did ghosts age? she must have died. it had to be someone else, but it wasn't. she knew that. even from across the room, she could spot those eyes from a mile away. they were the eyes of her closest companion, of her childhood, of her oldest brother. of caden stretton.

tagged: caden stretton - - word count: 1706 - - lyric credit: +44 - - graphic/template credit: myself - - notes: soo effed up.

[caden n. stretton]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; height: 450px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #7298ac 15px solid; border-left: #7298ac 15px solid;] adalia returning to town had taken a huge toll on caden emotionally and physically. the return of a friend who was unknowing about the fact that you were in love with them was one thing, but when that said friend returned with a child that didn't belong to you? heartbreaking. at first, he wasn't sure how to react but with time he knew that he could grow to accept it. plus lucas loved him. how could he walk away from adalia and him? it wasn't in the question. over the past few weeks since her return, she had spent nearly everyday over at his house. they were growing to know each other well again, and getting closer each day. the only thing that ever bothered caden, although he kept it to himself, was the fact that she had to leave to see the babies real father- blake sykes. the ravenclaw knew that there were some decent slytherins out there, like adalia, but he hadn't heard one good thing about this blake guy, ever. although he hated to predetermine a judgement, in this case he couldn't stop himself. because adalia knew him well, when she had asked him to go to lucas' check up with him, blake tagging along as well, he had to promise to be cival and keep the death glares to the minimum. although in his best friends eyes, the death glares were for getting her pregnant at such a young age, as well as being a complete dickward, not for all of that plus being in a family situation with her. that was what he had wanted! not being part of his real family for most of his childhood, caden knew that he couldn't try and block blake out. whether he liked it or not and he didn't, he would have to put up with him from here on out. reaching forwards to turn the handle controlling the watere for his shower, he twisted it down, turning it off. smoothing his hair back and whipping the water off of his face, caden dried off and exited the bathroom. it seemed everytime the boy stepped into hot, steaming water thoughts weren't able to be evated. today was the day of the appointment and he had about an hour before he was due to meet addy at the hospital. it had meant a lot to him that she had thought about him, even for something like an appointment. he had had a few, as she had told him, though they had been before she annouced her arrival to everybody, including him. in the back of his mind, he wanted to ask why she was having him checked out so often but for now, he had avoided the topic and paid more attention to the fact that he was a mute. shouldn't he be speaking at his age? entering his room, he side-glanced over towards the chair in the corner. books of all sorts, thick and thin, were stacked there, all about the same topic: children. it wasn't like he didn't know anything about children, because he did, but he wanted to be educated enough to know what the average age was to do begin different things like speaking and walking. as far as his research had gone, he had figured out that lucas was due to speak- or at least make the little baby murmurs and attempt at words- any day now. he didn't want to alarm adalia by telling her this but eventually she would have to become aware if she wasn't already. a mute child wasn't exactly a good thing, though it wasn't an awful sign either. it depended on how one looked at it. allowing the time to pass with getting dressed into a casual outfit and reading a chapter out of one of the several books, the time came around quickly as it always did when he kept himself busy. apperating to the hospital, he saw blake waiting in the distance, adalia not in sight just yet. taking a big breath in and releasing it, he repeated this several times before walking up to blake and nodding at him. "blake i presume? i'm caden." caden found that he was greeted with a nod as well, no handshake or anything like that. typically the boy would have offered his hand. in this case, he wanted to keep whatever else that was his as close to him as possible. who knew what blake had up his sleeve. caden couldn't be sure he wasn't hiding a saw to take his hand for some physco-person needs. sighing, caden glanced around, aware that he was being drastic but not caring. what did he know about this kid? nothing. he knew nothing about blake, and therefore he had good reason to be careful and curious. blake had known that he had a kid for no more than a month. his one night stand had turned into a lifetime commitment. although he wouldn't regret his little son, he had to wonder if adalia was ever going to keep anything else away from him. his trust issues were defineitly heightened thanks to her. arriving at st. mungos for lucas' appointment, he had been told that her 'best friend caden' would be joining them. why would a guy that wasn't her boyfriend need to come to their sons appointment? a majority of the time, blake would have asked more questions. having just moved into his new apartment with his sister, along with finding out about his son, he didn't have it in him to dig quite yet. caden arrived before adalia did, leaving the two to stand awkwardly with each other until she arrived. with caden by his side, time seemed to pass ten times as slow. "what's your relationship with lucas' mum anyways? are you her pretty boy bedmate? because if so, i dont approve. my son doesn't need that going on in the same house that he lives in." blake spoke, calling caden as he saw him: as a pretty boy. caden hadn't proposed any conversation of a sort on purpose. he had no desire to get to know the guy who had fathered lucas. he was far too jealous and frankly, caden was afraid his insides would boil if he did so. however the ravenclaw had been taught manners growing up, and so when spoken to he knew that it was only right to answer the question. plus what he had to be asked had a 'need to retort' sign written all over it. bedmate? he wished. plus adalia had changed, she wasn't sleeping around and if they were 'bedmates' he definietly wouldn't be doing it if they weren't dating. he had more class than that. shaking his head in disbelief, did he know adalia at all? had he ever? trying to look passed that fact, the whole "bedmate" thing wasn't all that made him need to respond. the fact that he was called a pretty boy was as well. if either of them were pretty boys, it was blake. while caden was strong, broad and tall, blake was tall, thin and well, pretty-boyish. "no we are not bedmates, thank you very much. we are friends. good friends. and ju-" stopping midsentence, caden spotted adalia walking towards the two of them, smile on her face, lucas in hand. forgetting all about blake and his dumbass question, his focas was now completely hers. the appointment went pretty fast as it was only a routine check-up. the healer had been nice, and clearly she was the best because her name tag had read 'acan macdougal - head healer.' caden's best guess was to say that adalia had connections and would go for no less than the best, which acan obviously had acheieved to be. bidding his goodbyes to her, the three walked down the hallway, chatting about lucas. caden had nearly blocked blake out completley, focusing only on what he wanted to. the smile, unfortunetly, was short lived. upon arriving on the first floor, a stretcher was rushed passed with a teenage blonde girl upon it. there was something haunting about her face that he recognzied that it had been a good thing he wasn't the one holding lucas, or else in all his shock he may have accidently let go. "leslie."

[/b] he whispered, completely forgetting to utter a word to adalia as he followed the stretcher towards where it was going. years had passed since he had seen his little sister. the face, her eyes, were unforgettable. it was a stretton thing. their eyes were what everybody got lost in. completley freaking out, he had barely noticed as a few guards held him back from entering the room where they were taken her, struggling to get free. caden was a built man, but the two holding him back were just as built and more. eventually he weakly gave up, slouching towards the ground and placing his head between his knees, a tear dropping. what was happening to her? was she going to be okay? goddamn conner for not taking good enough care of her! if he had been able to be around, none of whatever was going on would be happening. for sure. an hour and a half passed before the nurse made him tell her his information so that he was allowed in the room. leslie was, sure enough, the patient they had brought in. he was told that she had too much alcohol in her system and she was near dying because of it.

when she woke up they were going to ask her if she had taken any potions as well. he couldn't believe it. he was disappointed in his whole so called 'family' for letting her get this way. she was so little! she needed taking care of, even if she was near twenty years of age. setting up his own little station on the nearest chair to the right of her bed, caden curled his hand a fist, prepared to wait however long it took. hours passed before he got up and went over to her bedside, wrapping his hands around the cold silver bars that were located on the side of her bed. "leslie lou stretton. how could you do something like this to yourself? i'm so sorry for not being able to be with you all these years. you're still my little sister, and though you left the with the rest of our son of a bitch family, i'm going to get you through this. no more. i promise i'll never let you leave again." whispering out words, he knew that she couldn't hear him but he couldn't stand there in silence for any longer. within fifteen minutes, she slowly fluttered her eyes open, taking in her surroundings. caden stepped back as a nurse did her job, moving to the door so she had plenty of space to make his sister feel all better. it was then that she spoke. why didnt you let me die then? she had uttered to the nurse, and right then caden's entire body tightened. why hadn't she let her die? what the hell was going on. this was more than wrong. stepping into the room with his tear stained eyes, he allowed the nurse to pass and leave them be. "do not EVER say that again, leslie lou. you are much better than that."[/b] caden found that at the end of his sentence, his voice cracked. finally he was being reunited with his baby sister. why did it have to be under these circumstances? why did anything horrible have to happen in the world? that was the question caden wanted the answer to because it was tearing him apart internally.
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made by hay shay @ caution!
1964 words
awhhhh!

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[leslie l. stretton]

and baby, come on
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING FAMILIAR ABOUT ME?

there was just something about her that she could never explain to anyone. of course she had friends and best friends. hell, she even had a brother that she was closer to than anyone else, but all of them still weren't on her list of people that she could tell. no one was on that list. she had yet to find something that she really felt could understand instead of looking at her like she was someone who was broken. lulu would never admit that she was in fact broken beyond repair, just like she would never admit that she had a problem with drinking or cutting. lately, it had been more drinking than cutting just because the convenience of being in university now. it didn't matter though. she would drink with people, at a party, on her own when her roommate was gone, when her roommate was home, take some in a water bottle with her to classes. none of it really mattered. to everyone else, she was just another drunk. to herself though, it was a way to stop feeling all of the pain and the sadness. it was her way to numb it all in a less violent way than making more scars on her legs. if she ever met someone who could understand that, she might be in love. but for now, she had yet to find someone.

and now, as she was finding, she was making even more of an enemy out of her roommate. who would want to room with the drunk girl? she had now saved lulu's life more than once. would she got and report her to administration? worry spread through her. while she was fine with drinking herself to death, that didn't mean that she didn't somewhat care about her education. part of her really did want to have some direction and get somewhere towards a degree, in whatever she would finally figure out was what she wanted. the air was still open on that, which was why she decided on university. most people didn't even know what they wanted to be or what they wanted to do. if that happened, then conner would ask questions as to why. she had done enough to keep him out of the loop that was what her life had become after her suicide attempt. she had told him that things were better, that she was on a better track. however he was her brother and looked after her, so she was sure that he had an inkling that she was not alright and in trouble. she would never say though and that was the way she wanted to keep it too. then he might tell their parents and then she really would be taken from university.

now though, as she woke up, the weight of what had happened came crashing down on her. it was like waking up with the worst case scenario hangover only a million times worse. that, virtually, was what had happened though. she supposed it had to take some kind of toll what with all the drinking plus that potion she had taken, and the fact that she had died for a couple minutes didn't help either. overall, waking up made her wish that she hadn't woken up. that was exactly what she had told the nurse too. what would the nurse do? get her a psych consult? like she hadn't been there, done that. however, she was met with nothing and turned to look to see a ghost from her past walking through the door. she wouldn't have believed who it was if it hadn't been for the eyes. she had them, conner had them too. on the eyes alone she could know exactly who it was. the fact that caden stretton, her oldest brother, was walking into her room was enough to send her into shock and all she could do was go white in the face and send her machines beeping because her heart starting racing. when his mouth opened and he started scolding her, her eyesbrows raised. who was he to tell her what she could and couldn't say? and leslie lou? no one called her that. "no one calls me that anymore," she said with a slight bitter tone, "you would know that if you had been around." whether or not he was her brother, she didn't have to listen to him. who was he to even call himself her brother? he had left their family long ago, left her. it had been his choice to stay behind, to never write her back, to abandon her. that she could never forgive. caden had been her best friend when she was growing up. all of her memories from when she was younger had him in it. there was still one that she always found herself playing back on bad days of herself waiting on the couch in their living room, bouncing up and down on it as she stared out the window. her golden curls bouncing away as she saw the yellow bus drive up and caden climbing off of it to run up the walkway to the house. 'cady! cady's home!' she screamed as she jumped off the couch and ran to the door. it was only a moment of time she could remember, but it still was something that could make her a little bit happier. then, reality would come crashing in that he had left her.

now, here he was, back in the flesh. how had he even found her? the topic of caden was never brought up in the house anymore. her parents hadn't even said anything about him when she said that england was where she wanted to go to university. the last time she had ever tried to bring up caden to conner, he shut her down and told her that he wasn't their brother. "who are you to know to know what i'm better than? you don't even know me. you're a stranger, a betrayer," she spoke still bitterly. it was harsh, but he had caught her in a bad mood on top of it all. she felt like complete dirt and her depression was so far in the ground. right down where she wished she was, especially right now. "how'd you even find me here? where's conner?" what she wanted was her brother who had always been there for her. truthfully, not even conner was who she wanted here. she didn't want anyone. she wanted to heal in peace, and then go on to live her life just like she had been. a second brush with death within a year was nothing to her. as she stared at caden, attempting her strength's best at glaring, she knew that her eyes didn't say 'get the hell out of my room' and instead said 'how could you leave me like that?'. hadn't she meant anything to him?

tagged: caden stretton - - word count: 1155 - - lyric credit: +44 - - graphic/template credit: myself - - notes: she's trying to be mean. but she's so hurt.