` brighter than the sun

[arya c. wallece]

SHINING HOW WE WANT

arya should have known. dates were not her thing. she was supposed to meet up with a boy from one of her classes. his name was trey asher, one of those guys who were gorgeous and knew that as well. she should have known. she wasn’t that sort of girl that trey would have asked out for dinner. she should have known that he wasn’t going to make it. guys like trey didn’t ask out girls like her. in the ravenclaw measure, things just didn’t add up that easily. it had only been yesterday, or maybe two days ago. she couldn’t remember. he walked up to her, his hair swayed to the side and his eyes alluring as usual. she had never even spoken to him before. she was too nervous about messing up that she never even had tried. she had seen him during class though. he was always with his friends, laughing, joking around, sometimes flirting with the other girls. those were the times when she wanted to be pretty. she wished she was more likable where people would actually want to be her friend. she didn’t know what some of the girls did to have so many friends, but the idea was intimidating. sometimes she just wanted to hide away from the rest of the world, be quiet and sheltered, and live in the world of art, but unfortunately that wasn’t the way things went. trey grinned hiss smooth cheeky look and she could already feel her knees go weak. he asked her about dinner tonight at renaldo’s and she felt like fainting. she wanted to, she really did, but she managed to stop herself from swaying. rather shyly, she nodded and he winked at her. at her! and told her eight o’clock. she normally had dinner at seven, but eight sounded good as well. she wasn’t very good at the whole dating scene though. she already messed up two of her relationships and yet somehow they ended up being her best friends. she didn’t know how that turned out to be, but maybe she was just lucky. maybe she was just at the right place at the right time. arya spent almost two hours just trying on different dresses. it wasn’t that she liked or disliked trey asher. she did think he was very good looking, but for some reason, his personality never really hit her. he was the sort of guy that everyone liked. the teachers loved him, the girls loved him, the guys loved him, the parents loved him, he was practically irresistible. when the other girls found out he asked out arya wallece, the arya wallece. the one who couldn’t remember a day to save her life or the one who seemed to be three places at once all of the time. they almost freaked out. they ran over to her to ask how she got his attention and when she shrugged, the girls begged for details. it was the first taste of popularity she ever experienced and it was quite the handful.

and so that’s how she wound up here, now at about ten o’clock in a pool of self pity. now she knew it wasn’t that attractive to be here by yourself, but that wasn’t quite her thoughts. the idea of being stood up is horrible. no one should ever do it and she didn’t know why trey did it in the first place. did he know she spent three hours in total preparing for the date? did he know she danced around her room excitedly? did he knew she waited here for two hours thinking that somehow her date would suddenly just arrive? the more she thought about it, the sadder the story seemed. she entered the building,nervous and anxious all at the same time. the waitress, hannah asked her how many people and when she said two, hannah smirked, “big date?” she had asked and arya just smiled back. waiter by waiter, they asked her if she wanted water, bread, to order, anything. it was finally when hannah stopped by her table and asked if everything was okay. “where’s your date?” she had asked and arya just shrugged. she didn’t want to answer and she didn’t want to dwell on the possibilities. there could have been an emergency that she didn’t know about. she didn’t want to be the one spreading rumors about how trey asher stood her up even though he might have been lying in a hospital bed by now. it only took till just about five minutes ago for him to call. he apologized for not being there. he said there was a gathering at a friend’s house and he was heading over. he didn’t have time for dinner. ten o’ one. o’ two. o’three. she stared at the clock tower that was just outside the window. what did she see trey anyways? did she really like him? did he really like her? or was she just a joke? she hated this feeling. she despised being different and well, right now, it was the one thing that kept her from getting out of her seat. she felt bad for the waiters and waitresses who kept coming to her table. they asked her whether she was okay and whether she wanted more bread. she hadn’t eaten any of it. she hadn’t had anything besides a single glass of water. arya refused to cry though. she wasn’t going to cry for him. she wasn’t going to cry for her. thankfully she had enough experience to know when was the appropriate time to cry and not to cry. and right now was not one of them. rather gingerly, she fiddled with the fork, moving the crumbs along into a pile. her mind wasn’t quite working properly right now. it was a dark place, her thoughts, her memories. to go exploring through them, looking for something rather amusing seemed to be quite the dangerous activity. no, no, it was better to play with her food than go searching for lost thoughts.

hannah came back around and gave her a sympathetic hug, “don’t worry, if he didn’t come, he doesn’t know what he’s missing out. would you like a piece of cake, hon? takes away from the pain and it’s on the house.” arya smiled gratefully and nodded. the blond haired girl grinned back and walked towards the back of the restaurant. the thing about small places like these was that she came here often. she liked to think that made new friends with the employees there and knowing the girl was here any time she needed, it was twice as more comforting. she was so busy doing her own thing that she didn’t even realize another person standing there. if she had, she might have spilled her water. or knocked over the basket of breads. anything that would distracted her from staring in both surprise and shyness all of a sudden.

SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL ♥

holaa ZOOM!. this post has about... er. 1161 words. i swear, i am incapable of uber small posts. anyways, she's wearing this hurr pretty little dress. boy, if i could pull that off, i'd be very very happy. lol. oh yeah. credits go to brighter than the sun, colbie calliat for their eppic lyrics and this template (as plain as it seems) belongs to moi and i'm damn proud of it. lol. mhmm. false pride. anyways, any last notes? heeeck yeah, i like to ramble. blaaaah, so tired! but excited! LOL

[nathaniel w. mclaggen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr244/Unique-Jul/background-grey.jpg);width: 450px;padding-top:20px;] the chance i'm taking with all that i've got TAG: ARYA , WORD COUNT: 1170 , LYRIC CREDIT: NEVEREST , NOTES: HOPE IT'S OKAY nate didn't understand why he had come to see his father. his father was a ridiculous man who was as stubborn as a mule. all he wanted was for nate to continue on with the family business when he didn't want to. he had told his father several times in his life that it wasn't what he wanted. he loved quidditch, he really did but that didn't mean that he wanted to be the boss of one. nate could hardly get a word in sitting across from his father. he had agreed to meet at a restaurant where they would talk. nate didn't think this would mean his father lecturing him on the business. for the bloody baron's sake, he was only a junior. it was only the beginning of his junior year. he had known though, since his birth his father had been planning his future. he would have no choice in anything. that was most likely the reason why nate was stuck wearing the get-up that he was wearing. this wasn't him at all. an off-black suit, a white almost an off-shade of pink button up shirt, a light pink tie and polished shoes. no guy his age actually wore something like this. nate was expected to dress this way though whenever he met up with his father. he couldn't even decide what clothes he wanted to wear to see his own father. the conversation had started out with nate asking how his mother was doing. she was still a little frail but she was still very strong. nate had been lucky to get a letter from her this time. last time all he had gotten was his father saying mom says hi. not much to get you feeling warm inside. especially when you haven't spoken to her in over a month. nate had grown up very attached to his mom. while his father was running the business, his mother would stay at home to take care of him. now that she had fallen ill, nate felt the need to return the favor. he couldn't though while he was in university. last summer, he told his mom that he would dropout to take care of her. she instantly refused. she wasn't going to let nate do that for her. nate didn't know what to do. he knew he would feel guilty and at the present moment, he did. if she wasn't stuck with all these nurses and maids she might get healthy. it wasn't good for her to be stuck with these people who were paid to do it. he wanted to do it but his mother wasn't going to allow him to do so. nate brushed the hair that had fallen over his eyes back into his signature do. he had never wanted to get his haircut. the only times that he would was when his mother asked him to. when his father wanted him to cut his hair, nate decided to leave it for another two weeks. he picked at his food listening to his father speak. what a git. nate tried not to raise his voice but he couldn't help it with his father. the man was awful for pushing so much on him. nate didn't know why he had come. he should have just stayed at university. he could've started to read on muggle inventions. it would be way more exciting than what his father was speaking on. after a while of trying to bicker with his father, nate gave up. he continued to listen to the man jibber jabber on about the company. it was better for nate to let the man speak. he wouldn't get a word in and even when he did, his father would counter with some ridiculous speech. his father had even taken out a spreadsheet that nate paid no attention to. he wasn't good at this business stuff. he hadn't done very well at arithmancy at hogwarts. it wasn't his strength at all. his strengths were learning facts rather than trying to figure things out. he would sink the company to the ground. why couldn't he give the company to one of the men that worked for him that actually wanted it? in the end, nate's dad was done and threw the payment down on the table. he said his goodbyes to nate and that he would receive a letter from mum soon. nate pressed both elbows on the table rubbing the temples of his skulls with his index fingers. he was twenty, he didn't need this pressure yet. maybe when he was out of university and couldn't find a job. but now he was good. with the fund of the mclaggens, nate was a boy who didn't need a job anyway. he could live his whole life on the revenue on the business. nate wasn't that kind of guy, he wanted to live a normal life and work for a living. he turned his head to see employees of the restaurant looking at him. nate turned away staring at the galleons that were thrown on the table. his father hadn't even bothered to see the price of the bill. nate didn't understand how his father could throw around money like this. it was generous but this way no way to cherish what money actually meant. nate slowly got up from his chair. he couldn't make eye contact with anyone. he was so embarrassed with his father. nate gracefully pushed his chair making the way to his father's, he pushed it in too. he was about to make his way out of the restaurant when he felt himself bumping into someone. nate looked up to see a girl. he put his hands out hoping that she wasn't going to fall. once he regained his own balance he felt so stupid for not looking. even if he was embarrassed by his father, it didn't mean that he had to go around pushing around random customers. "i'm sorry, i should've watched where i was going." what a cliche to say but it was true. nate wasn't watching and this was what happened. he ran his hand through his hair and maneuvered passed the girl ready to leave. he should have never come here. all it led him to was shame. for such a pretty girl to have come probably waiting for her boyfriend only to be hit by some guy who wasn't watching where he was going. what was wrong with him. first his father and now this girl. he wasn't going to be good enough for anyone. nate stuffed his hands into the pocket of his suit. he could already feels eyes on him. what a pretty boy for going around in a suit. no guy now went around in a suit unless it was some fancy party. it wasn't supposed to be for everyday wear. nate didn't understand why he would listen to his father. all his father cared about were looks and money. he didn't care for anything else.

[arya c. wallece]

SHINING HOW WE WANT

she never had that strong of a relationship to her mum and dad. she couldn’t remember much of them in her childhood days and if they were in there, it was usually a brief glimpse. maybe a playground trip every once in a while or teaching her how to play frisbee. it wasn’t too much, but they meant the world to her. she never had a chance to know her parents because... because they weren’t very well off. they lived in a hut that was barely suitable to raise children in. her mum worked two jobs and raised two children. her father worked in the city and didn’t come home very often. they were not the perfect family dynamics and for some reason, her mum was still wondering why her daughter was so screwed up. arya hated the thought of disappointing her mum, but it seemed like that’s all she did. she didn’t meet people very well, she was rather insecure about her appearance. all of these low self esteem trademarks were because of her upbringing. she used to blame her mum for messing her up, but really, it was her own fault. she wished she was different, but the possibility of that happening any time soon was miraculous.

there was a strong bump on her chair and arya felt her hands hold the table for support. his husky words came out and she knew it was definitely not a female. it made her heart start pounding in just seconds. “i... um, it’s okay,” she paused, avoiding eye contact. it took her a moment for her to remember what was going on and slowly she glanced up only to see a boy there. not a very happy looking boy, but he was... she felt her cheeks turn red all of a sudden and couldn’t help but clear her throat lightly. “um... is e-everything alright? you seem a little... distressed,” arya asked, her voice quiet, but her question was straight to the point. she was good at reading people. it didn’t have to be familiar people, they just had to have feelings of some sort. it came after all of these years of being silent and simply observing. it was funny about all of the things you tend to pick up when you’re quiet. it took her a moment to register what she had even said. she always got anxious or antsy around good looking boys. she liked the way his hair swept across his forehead. his eyes seemed a bit serious, possibility wise beyond his years, but he seemed nice. she wasn’t one to judge especially since she was a bit of a strange girl herself, but still. she didn’t know what to say... and she was getting tongue tied. if there was a trophy for bringing up awkward conversations, she would have won it a long time ago. her conversations had many ‘um’s, ‘uh’s, stammering, everything. with regular people, it wasn’t too bad, but with good looking boys, it made her sweat. this... it wasn’t that much different from a typical conversation with arya, but still... who started a conversation by asking whether he was okay or not? she bit her bottom lip, her finger clenching onto the table cloth, “i... i’m sorry, i-i didn’t know... what i was asking.” her blood was pumping hard and she didn’t know what to think. at the moment, all of her thoughts were running together. part of her wanted to run away, but another part wanted to hear his story. she always had the tendency to want to know what wasn’t her business and while it drove her crazy, it seemed to be a good thing for others. not too surprising, but everyone seemed to like talking about themselves. arya turned away before she saw the swish of blond hair walk towards her.

the waitress was holding a plate of delicious looking chocolate cake. she could tell it was a bit expensive since the frosting was on the side, there was syrup covering the top, and strawberry slices were neatly placed around the plate. she would know that there was a lot of money involved because she grew up in a household where there was no cake. if there was, it was your birthday. it was either your thirteenth, sixteenth, eighteenth, or twenty first birthday. it really depended on how old you were turning. it was always the marker for a big birthday. hannah paused briefly seeing the boy and arya. arya. the boy. the boy. arya. there was a scowl upon her face and the waitress definitely did not look that pleased. she was a new employee and while the nineteen year old had seen her a few times at the restaurant, they didn’t have much time to talk. the only time they really spoke was when she found hannah crying in the bathrooms. after a little bit of boyfriend talk, the waitress seemed to think they were best friends. it could be considered a fortunate or unfortunate event. and yet, arya wasn’t quite sure what to make out of the situation. hannah walked over to her, placing the cake on her table and marched right up to the boy, only inches apart from his face. she would have said something if the waitress hadn’t beaten her. then again, arya speaking up was a bit of a rare event. she would never be the first to cause a problem and if so, it was always by accident. “for one thing. you never let a lady wait for two hours for you! you ought to be ashamed of yourself! i hope you apologize to her!” she scolded, her words carrying across the restaurant. arya could feel the eyes on their table. the poor boy was already being shot down by many pairs of eyes. no one like a boy who was late to a date. if they only knew that they didn’t actually know each other... hannah practically dragged him to the seat across from her and shoved him in the chair, “now i’ll bring out another piece of cake and you two have fun... but remember. i’m watching you.” she pointed at the boy and strolled away, a broad grin upon her lips. the heat instantly started rushing to her cheeks and she felt like melting in her seat all of a sudden. she felt incredibly bad for the boy and while she wanted to just forget about the whole event, it seemed impossible. she licked her lips and shyly glanced at the boy, “i... i-i’m sorry... um. again...” she fiddled with the silverware a little, her grey eyes focused on the tablecloth pattern, “i-i mean i understand if... if you need to be somewhere...” the poor boy was probably here against his will and it seemed like she wasn’t making anything better.

SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL ♥

holaa ZOOM!. this post has about... er. 1146 words. i swear, i am incapable of uber small posts. anyways, she's wearing this hurr pretty little dress. boy, if i could pull that off, i'd be very very happy. lol. oh yeah. credits go to brighter than the sun, colbie calliat for their eppic lyrics and this template (as plain as it seems) belongs to moi and i'm damn proud of it. lol. mhmm. false pride. anyways, any last notes? heeeck yeah, i like to ramble. y'know? i think this is the first time we've ever rped together! yes, no, maybe sooo? XD

[nathaniel w. mclaggen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr244/Unique-Jul/background-grey.jpg);width: 450px;padding-top:20px;] the chance i'm taking with all that i've got TAG: ARYA , WORD COUNT: 1166 , LYRIC CREDIT: NEVEREST , NOTES: I CAN'T REMEMBER LOL. nate didn't even bother listening to what the girl was saying. she was probably complaining about what an oaf he actually was. he already knew he shouldn't have done that. he couldn't help it though. it had happened by accident. it wouldn't be the first time that a girl complained about him. nate was infamous for not committing to anyone. it wasn't that he wasn't ready. it was something that took over nate whenever he did feel ready. it was paranoia. he was scared that this girl wanted to be with him for the wrong reasons. he couldn't believe that anyone would want to be with him for the right reasons. look what happened to his parents. they were separated and they had left nate in tough place. while his mother was still getting support from his father, it didn't seem right. nate wanted to see his mother happy with a man who wanted to give her happiness. not a man who was forced to take care of her. he didn't even remember the last time that he had seen his parents together. they had both come to watch nate leave for hogwarts but they had been on separate ends of the train station. the only time that they had contact was through his father's helpers. nate had never seen his parents happy with one another. it was hard for nate to have a real idea on what love really was when both his parents couldn't even stand each other. now his mother was gravely ill and his father could care less. she had support but only from court. all nate wanted to do was be with her but she wanted to see nate happy. one day when his mother thought she was at her end, she had made nate promise that if she survived that nate would have to find a girl. a girl who he could spend the rest of his life with. this request seemed a little ridiculous to nate at the time but he understood why his mother would make him promise her this. she wanted to see nate happy and appreciate a girl for what she was not like roman had to her. nate was ready to leave when he felt himself being forced onto a chair. what the bloody hell was happening. all he wanted was to leave. he didn't understand why he had to stay. his father had just paid for their meal and everyone in the restaurants' meal too. he put his hands up ready to stand up for himself. before he could even put a word in, he felt like he was talking to his father again. this waitress was getting mad at him for something he didn't even know why. "hey wait now!" nate got up from the seat pushing the seat back a little. when he heard her speak he looked over to the girl across from him. he did feel bad that she had been waiting two hours but nate didn't do this. he would never do this to a girl. hard to believe but when nate did make plans with a girl, he was sure to follow through. he could feel eyes on him again. he should have never entered this restaurant. he buried his face into his hands waiting for the waitress to leave. what was her problem, she hadn't even gotten nate's opinion and she pushed him into this seat. it wasn't that he didn't want a date with a girl, did the girl want him though? she was probably waiting for the man of her dreams. some guy who was actually romantic and wasn't scared about love. he definitely didn't think that he would be what she wanted. he wasn't in the right mood, not the right clothes and he wasn't even in his flirtatious mood. nate just wasn't ready. what was he supposed to do when he was put in this situation. the poor girl had been waiting here for two hours. he didn't understand why she would have. nate would have left after twenty minutes but that wasn't the point. the best he could do was give her a good time. he didn't think that he would ever see her again anyway. he wasn't very good at dates and she would find this boy who had stood her up. maybe he had gotten lost or there had been some kind of emergency. nate didn't know. nate removed his hands from his eyes running it through his hair again. he was trying to relieve the steam inside of himself. he put his hand up. "look it's fine." he deeply sighed trying to calm himself down. his voice had been tense and she didn't need this. he put his hands on his lap. "i'm sorry for the git that stood you up. it would save you a lot of trouble and time to go home. i'm not going to be much of a date even if your friend assumes that this is what it's going to be." he hadn't been able to make eye contact with the girl. he had been having a bad enough day. he didn't have the confidence to look anyone in the face. nate never did have much confidence but he was beaten down more now. nate got ready to get up again but he felt a tinge in his stomach. why did he have to feel this in his stomach? even when he wasn't in a good mood, he felt the need to make this girl happy. he slowly sat back down. "i'm sorry. let's start over. i'm nate mclaggen." he put a crooked smile on his face finally being able to look the girl in the eye with his own brown eyes. as bad as he was feeling inside, it couldn't hurt to make someone else happy. he was put into the situation already. nate had to go with the flow. he normally wasn't like this but his father had gotten him to tensed up. if it wasn't for his father, nate would be up to have this dinner with the girl. he had to go back to who he really was though. his mother wouldn't want nate to act this way around a girl. "the least i could do for you after you've been here for so long is attempt to be as good as the guy who was supposed to be here." nate picked off a flower from the side of the bush putting his hand out. it was shaking as the nerves settled in but nate wasn't used to this at all. he didn't even know if he could even take the flowers off. "it's not much but i'll get you a bouquet after." nate knew how to spoil a girl with gifts. he had done it before. it was an easy way to guard himself from having feelings for a girl. the materials blocked him from ever growing actual feelings for someone.

[arya c. wallece]

SHINING HOW WE WANT

low self esteem was due credit to a number of reasons in her life. things like her poor memory, negative feedback, a house that she never thought was worth showing off all contributed to her timid personality. people often remarked how pretty the ‘wallece girl’ was. if only she knew how to smile or be confident every now and then. she didn’t know what to say or do to make herself seem like a person that she wasn’t. she really did wish she could be like all of the other girls or her thoughts of them. to her, they were perfect. they were smart. they were pretty. they could have a decent conversation. they were good with people. she wasn’t any of them. arya didn’t know how to conduct herself in a party or a classroom. she had never gone to a real birthday party. when she was younger, children strayed away from the wallece children. the only birthday she ever attended was her brother and while it seemed to be the only person that mattered in her life at the time, it could become just a bit lonesome. she did know her manners though. she knew when to say please. she knew when to say thank you. she sometimes over did the ‘please’, ‘thank you’s, and the ‘excuse me’s, but it was better to say them too much than too little. her mum and dad never enforced manners in the household, but for her, it was the first step to becoming normal. but most of the time she stayed in the background, just... just invisible. times like these, it seemed impossible to do so. the boy was talking to her. he was talking to her. and the idea made her shake.

arya bit her bottom lip, waiting in anticipation for his reply. she didn’t know what he was going to say. she didn’t know how he was going to act. or how the rest of the evening was going to be. she knew that she had the tendency to over analyze these situations. she thought that everything was very much for the worse and yet, she wasn’t able to break the habit. cynical thinking, that’s what her mum called it. everything in her own life seemed to be a disappointment, it was almost like asking what she thought about the glass of water. yes, it was half empty. there was nothing to it. her gaze lowered, as usual. she wasn’t one for making good conversation with people. in fact, she was just downright awkward. but then he spoke. and he was... he was apologizing? she didn’t know why he was. it wasn’t his fault trey didn’t make it here. it wasn’t his fault that the waitress harassed him into staying. but here he was apologizing. and frankly, she wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. she wasn’t used to people taking the blame for a situation that didn’t even involve them. it was... nice, really, to see someone so considerate that they were willing to burden themselves. of course that didn’t mean she wanted to continue it, no, that would be awful. but she definitely took his attitude into consideration. arya shook her head, the ends of her hair tickling her neck, “s-she’s not my friend... i mean, um, she’s more of an... acquaintance, really.” her voice trembled a little bit, but that’s how she always had been. she was nervous. she was anxious. she didn’t know how to act with others. when she was younger, her brother would always have to coax her to play with the other children. but if he wasn’t there, she wouldn’t even go within five feet of everyone else. it took courage to even speak up at times and funny thing, these were one of those times, “um... and thank you... for... for being so nice... a-about the whole, um, tolerating hannah... thing.” she wanted to smack her own forehead. her words weren’t even forming a coherent sentence and yet, she was trying to communicate with someone completely out of her league. you could tell by his wardrobe that he was much more high classed than she was. the dress she wore was a hand me down from her cousin’s stepsister’s friend’s cousin’s, etc... either way, it wasn’t too attractive nor was it too memorable. he probably wasn’t too impressed with her constant stutters, huh. arya took a deep breath, unsure of what to do next. thankfully the boy seemed to get the sense that he was taking charge because he gave her a grin, “i’m nate mclaggen.” the name sounded familiar, but she shrugged it off. she didn’t know a lot of people at school and if she heard of his name, it probably had been just a glimpse of the life she was missing out on. she gave him a shy smile back, “arya... arya wallece.”

the people around their table finally seemed to have stopped listening to their conversation. strangers always seemed to think that people were much more interesting. just another thing to gossip about, right? the two of them didn’t seem to be as interesting as they thought. just a boy who was late for his date with the train wreck of a girl. yes, that ought to be it, they thought. there were ruffling of shoes against the floor as a couple walked past them. she only saw them for a split second before her attention shot back towards... nate. that was a nice name. she watched him curiously as he plucked a flower off the bushel nearby. thoughts of mister trey asher just seemed to have flown out the window because it was only when he mentioned ‘her date’ that she remembered why she was actually here. sitting with him, nate, here at this time of hour. her lips curled at the sight of a simple flower, her fingers taking it delicately from the palm of his hand. if you paid enough attention, you would have noticed her eyes flicker emerald green, almost as if a twelve year old inhabited her body, but it was gone as fast as it came. “i... no, no this is nice... thank you,” she said in a hushed tone as her eyes gazed at him rather thoughtfully. she seemed to have been saying ‘thank you’ quite a lot this evening and they were only sitting together for maybe a minute or two? there was a bit of a pause before she added, “i like this better...” she didn’t know who he was, but she could see that there was something definitely nice about him. she didn’t know what it was, but it was strange how important first impressions were.

SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL ♥

holaa ZOOM!. this post has about... er. 1124 words. i swear, i am incapable of uber small posts. anyways, she's wearing this hurr pretty little dress. boy, if i could pull that off, i'd be very very happy. lol. oh yeah. credits go to brighter than the sun, colbie calliat for their eppic lyrics and this template (as plain as it seems) belongs to moi and i'm damn proud of it. lol. mhmm. false pride. anyways, any last notes? heeeck yeah, i like to ramble. awww, this is sorta sweet! (:

[nathaniel w. mclaggen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr244/Unique-Jul/background-grey.jpg);width: 450px;padding-top:20px;] the chance i'm taking with all that i've got TAG: ARYA , WORD COUNT: 1014 , LYRIC CREDIT: NEVEREST , NOTES: IT'S CUTE <3. while nate had grown up in a wealthy family that didn't mean that he was the same. he had been influenced more by his mother side. it was always conflicting growing up. when he was at his dad's, nate could do whatever he wanted and he would get whatever he wanted. at his mother's though, there was more discipline and nate had to earn what he was given. his mother actually gave him attention though while is father did not. what was better? a parent who gave you all the materialistic things a boy would ever want but didn't get the love and support of a normal parent? or have to work for what he deserved with love and support? when nate got older, he realized who he did prefer. his mother. the woman that was always there for him. not some spineless man who couldn't even be a father. on christmas mornings, it was always different depending on which parent he was with. on years with his mother, nate would wake up with his mother in the kitchen. the tree was average sized with enough present to make a ring around the trunk. he would wake up rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes to have his mom walk out of the kitchen to greet him. the two would then slowly unwrap the presents that were underneath the tree. when it was christmas at his father's, nate would be awoken up early to greet visitors. the presents underneath the tree would circle the trunk of the tree several times. there was such a difference between the two. now that nate was twenty, presents didn't matter anymore, it was the memories that truly mattered. it was hard to believe that from nate when there were so many boys going around flaunting their wealth but he didn't want to be defined by the mclaggen name. he was nate. mclaggen was only the name that he was born under. nate actually preferred to hide his wealth. it was better that they didn't know his surname. nate laughed placing the lower half his hands on the table. "well she's a pretty good acquaintance then. i don't think i'd have the guts to do what she had done." it hadn't hit him that he was now on a 'date' with this girl. he didn't realize that he would have to behave himself. his facial expressions relaxed. "am i making you nervous?" he heard the shaking in her voice. it was a little strange being sat across to from a guy who she didn't know but she didn't say no to him. nate didn't think that he was being scary or snooty in any way. he went on dates with girls but he never took them seriously until he knew that the girl was taking him seriously. he didn't have long term relationships. he went on dates and flirted. that was nate's style.. he didn't want to commit himself to anyone right now. he felt that it was easier for him to be independent right now. it was too much responsibility to have a relationship. it would mean considering the other person, making sure that you had time for them, investing and making sure that they were happy. nate didn't even think that he could take care of himself. girls would assure him that he wouldn't have to do that for them but he didn't feel right enough. he didn't want to play girls or use them. that wasn't him at all. he stuck to girls who he knew would never ask for commitment but didn't forward anything like sex unless they were both sure that they wanted it. "relax, i don't bite." nate snickered. "but seriously arya, relax. you're way too tense right now." he didn't want to make her feel nervous. this was the first time that they were meeting one another. it meant no expectations which meant no disappointment. it was easier this way. he tried not to do it himself but he knew girls did it when they were on dates with him. they judged him on his looks, personality and charm against other boys. they put nate on this pedestal that he was going to be way better than them. nate didn't like this at all. he didn't want it to be a competition at all. he was nate and not bob, eric or ryan. nate looked down at his cup. he looked at arya then lifted it. "hey hans! i've apologized. are you willing to get us some water?" he wasn't going to tell hannah that he wasn't really her date. it would hurt the poor girl's ego. she was so intense when she was yelling at nate that he didn't think it would be worth telling her. he raised one of his eyebrows at he let go of the flower. nate didn't know what this night would be like with this girl. "well i didn't know i'd be put in this situation." nate grinned knowing that she didn't expect it either. it was definitely a weird situation to be placed in. "so tell me, what was this guy that you were supposed to go on a date like? maybe i can mimic him like if he was actually here?" nate had grown up having to play this role of a snooty mclaggen. a mclaggen who actually cared about looks and wealth. he thought whatever this boy was like, he had to fall in the range of who nate was and what nate's father wanted him to be like. it wasn't like this date meant anything. he was only being a nice guy. there were too many students at university, he didn't think that he'd meet up with this girl again. nate lied low in university, he didn't bother to be the center of attention like he noticed other guys tried to do. he preferred to keep to himself and to the circle of friends that he had invested his time and attention to. he didn't like change, he liked what he was used to.

[arya c. wallece]

SHINING HOW WE WANT

there were days when arya sometimes just wanted to stay in bed and never get up. she was never suicidal, no, she couldn’t imagine ever killing herself. it was just that there were those times when she fell under a deep depression that lasted for maybe a day or so. no more than three days though. if that were so, her brother would never let her off the hook. but it had to do with what happened oh so many years ago. she was eight years old and while it was a time of innocence for most children, it wasn’t for her. it was a time of guilt and horrible, horrible lies. the hours in the classroom lasted what seemed like years. some of the students thought she was just trouble. they thought she was a brat who liked to make chaos for others. they thought she was a bad girl. she was stupid. she was lame. she was pathetic. that’s what he told her over and over again. he made her repeat them. he made her look up the words. she didn’t know why people were nasty. arya didn’t know what she had done wrong. she knew now that they were just lies, but when they’ve been etched into your head for so long, it’s stuck. and it’s been stuck there for almost twelve years now. she was turning twenty next years and she couldn’t live it down. maybe it was by nature that she was a negative thinker. she didn’t believe in fairytales and while the idea was catchy, cute, and sweet, they didn’t happen. she grew up in a household where believing in such stories would possibly get you killed. if you lost your shoe on the staircase, you wasted money. if you slept for a hundred years, not only would all of your crops die but you wasted a hundred years of work. if you had a trail of bread crumbs, all you did was waste food. arya was never allowed to believe in those stories and after all of these years of hurt and betrayal, she knew why. but then again, there were those times when she thought she was wrong. well, almost. she did have some beautiful relationships. people like fields and phoenix made her smile. they made her feel special. they made her feel... normal. people complained all of the time about never feeling normal, but what if that was true in her case? what if she actually wasn’t normal? the guys she had dated seemed to know her more than others and while they did treat her much better than some other people, something was a bit off. they seemed to know something about her that even she didn’t have. it was like having a piece of spinach between your teeth and no one wanted to tell you. it was just that obvious, but hidden as well. the feeling was painful as it was irritating.

her lips curled into another shy smile as she glanced curiously at the boy in front of him. he was acting normal. like she always wanted to be knew she never could be. why was he being so nice when he was forced to sit here with her? with her of all people? if he knew who she was, he might have run away. that was the smartest thing to do, really, but no he wasn’t. he was being nice. almost as if they had been friends forever. they might have been mistaken as friends if she wasn’t so awkward. “yeah,” she bit her bottom lip to keep herself from letting out a small laugh, “she’s a bit loud and brash... i’ve seen her scold people for cutting in line.” it was true. arya spent a little too much time observing everything and everyone and so she had seen her stop more than one person from cutting, giving lousy tips, everything. but hannah was a nice girl. she was always willing to help the less fortunate and while the idea could be a bit insulting since well, she was on the less fortunate side, it was a good feeling. someone sticking up for you. you never really got that nowadays. but her eyes widened slightly and almost instantly her hand rubbed the back of her neck, “n-no...” she sat up just a little straighter, her gaze focused on her fork. she hated it when she did this. arya cleared her throat a little, her voice getting a bit louder than before. “i mean, no, not at all... it’s just a... bad habit of mine. i’m sorry, i’m sorry... i’ll try harder...” she didn’t say more, her face flushed a deep crimson. she knew that she wasn’t the smoothest talker. she had the tendency to stammer whenever. it was an ugly trait but really, she couldn’t remember a time when it wasn’t there. she sat up a little straighter, her elbows resting against the edge of the table, trying to regain composure. most people didn’t tell her out loud that she was doing that bad in a conversation. maybe she was doing worse than usual. maybe she was getting worse! oh what would she do if the boy pointed it out again?

she gulped and was about to apologize again when he rather bluntly asked hannah to bring them some water. the blond haired waitress happened to be walking by, carrying a tray of dirty plates. at first she stopped and seemed a bit surprised at nate’s comment, but it only took her a few seconds to recover. instead of getting mad as she would have expected, hannah smirked and rolled her eyes, “you’re horrible, you know that right? but you’re lucky arya’s here. you can ask her the story, but i totally owe her for that one time. sooo i guess i have no choice but to say two waters coming right up.” there was a moment of silence as she walked away, humming to herself. it was a few times that the two had encountered awkward conversations and situations, but she knew exactly what hannah was saying. she accidentally let out a laugh. her hands slapped over her own mouth, taking a few seconds to calm herself down. arya looked down at her lap, suddenly shy again. she didn’t like to attract attention to herself. if anything, she tried to make it on someone else, but sometimes even that was impossible. and that was when he brought up trey asher. of course he would. she felt her cheeks burn, her fingers fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth. “um,” she paused before she attempted once more not to stutter. she spoke a little louder to try and match his voice just a bit more, “it’s probably best that he didn’t come. he called a couple minutes before you... arrived and said he was meeting up with friends,” she admitted, suddenly ashamed that she fell for such a cheap trick. she should have known better and yet, she fell for the lies once more. funny how things happened. arya just fell into the worst situations and yet, here she was with a reasonably nice, good looking guy who was on a date with her and it was still all an illusion. it was still all a lie.

SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL ♥

holaa ZOOM!. this post has about... er. 1221 words. i swear, i am incapable of uber small posts. anyways, she's wearing this hurr pretty little dress. boy, if i could pull that off, i'd be very very happy. lol. oh yeah. credits go to brighter than the sun, colbie calliat for their eppic lyrics and this template (as plain as it seems) belongs to moi and i'm damn proud of it. lol. mhmm. false pride. anyways, any last notes? heeeck yeah, i like to ramble. awww! <333

[nathaniel w. mclaggen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr244/Unique-Jul/background-grey.jpg);width: 450px;padding-top:20px;] the chance i'm taking with all that i've got TAG: ARYA , WORD COUNT: 1021 , LYRIC CREDIT: NEVEREST , NOTES: <3. nate had grown up an only child which meant often that he was by himself. it would be calm but boring. nate didn't particularly enjoy this. he longed for someone to be by his side. nate had friends but it wasn't the same. when they all went home to their families, nate would go home to either his mom or dad. his grandparents too but there wasn't anyone that was close to his age. he would have to create his own entertainment. nate had to become very creative. it had to be the reason why nate was the way he was. he was very guarded and he didn't let people in as easy. he had never been very personal with anyone. his mom but it was because she was his mom. everyone else, nate didn't really breakdown to anyone. there was his two best guy friends, pax and ryder. then there was adele, aribelle and aria. so it was clearly obvious that nate had friends but he didn't think that he was that popular of a guy. it wasn't that he didn't want his friends to know who he was but nate was scared. he didn't like to talk about himself anyway. everyone came first before him. a strange thing for a mclaggen but nate didn't like the spotlight at all. he never did understand when he was at parties and there were guys who wanted to show off. he liked girls to notice him but he never tried to force it. he just wanted them to come to him. nate was actually nervous when he had to approach a girl. he was a flirt when they came to him but if he had to make the first move, it made him so nervous. he wanted to make sure that the girl was interested in him. nate didn't like rejection. he was sorta spoiled by his father that way. his father was a man who had aged well and didn't have trouble with women, nate had been taught the same. women came to the mclaggens, it wasn't the other way around. as for relationships, nate hadn't had a steady relationship in a while. he actually didn't like relationships or commitment. it was too much work for him. he liked being single and flirting. "a little irrational if you ask me." nate shrugged. he was misjudged by her. it was a pet peeves of nate's to be misjudged. he didn't like it when people didn't get to know his side and made their own assumptions about him. he would have gladly treated a girl out for a date instead of being pushed into a seat. he wasn't fighting that much. the girl across from him was cute. he had a thing for girls with a hint of red in their hair. he wouldn't have minded going out with her. this wasn't the way that he wanted to set it up but she seemed nice. that's all that mattered for nate. he didn't want a girl to be rude and he could tell she was a little hesitant. that showed him that she wasn't putting on a mask for him. she was genuinely into the date. he heard the stumble in her voice. "don't try to be someone you're not." he smiled shaking his head. even if this really wasn't a true date, nate didn't want a girl who felt like she needed try for him. he wanted it to come naturally for her. he looked up at her the creases around his eyes deepening. he turned to hannah for his water. "i'm being a customer." his eyes darted towards where hannah was. he turned to hear laughter from across him. this was the most emotion that he had seen come out of the girl. even if it wasn't from him. he didn't bother to ask. he had a lot of females as friends and with all their inside jokes, nate never bothered to ask. it would become rambles to giggles and then back to rambling. nate could hardly ever understand a word that came out of their mouth that he had learned his lesson. never come between two girls. "i'm sorry about that." what a horrible thing to do. "i would never do that to a girl." while he wasn't the biggest fan of dates, he would never leave a girl waiting. nate tried to be earlier than the girl. he didn't want to keep a girl waiting. he usually asked the girl out first so he should be the one there first. to set the mood and make sure everything was okay. "i was just over there...with my dad." he nodded towards the back where his father and him had been sitting."are you hungry though?" nate hadn't looked across the room when he had been with his dad. he didn't know what arya had been doing all that time he had been there. nate had picked at his food most of the time that his dad was talking. he had taken a few nibbles on the breadsticks in the basket but that was it. nate was still a little hungry himself. nate pushed the menu towards arya. "what are you feeling?" he was a boy, he could actually go for anything. he felt bad that she had been left waiting for someone. nate could only be nice. he hadn't made plans with anyone so it wasn't as if he would have anything else to do. it would make for a good memory later on. "it's my treat so order anything." nate's dad had slipped him a new credit card while they were at dinner. it would be a good time to use it. nate was naturally spoiled this way but he would give the girl a treat. nate was never selfish with his money. in his opinion, he had too much of it. if he could give arya a nice time, it would be enough for him. he wasn't comfortable just yet but this situation was a little awkward anyway. he knew that it would only get easier as the night progressed on.

[arya c. wallece]

SHINING HOW WE WANT

you know those moments where you go around the house, searching for any grasp of how you grew up? you look for any photographs of yourself as a child. maybe a toy if in reach. you ask for stories about how you grew up and possibly go through stacks and stacks of letters that you once wrote to give to friends but just forgot to give them. or maybe even just the feelings you held about the day you’d finally go to school with your brother. arya knew the feeling. she had done it, she lived it as well, it was the feeling of dread, nostalgia, and possibly uncertainty about what the future held. would her children live like this? would they grow up in a broken down house and live with people who never seemed to be around? well, besides her brother but he was different. he stuck with her all through these years and defended her from everyone who even threatened her. she was protected, yes, very much. but he had a different reason why he seemed worried for her safety than anyone else. she was the damaged child. and all three personalities remembered this. arya remembered how he made her repeat those horrible, horrible words over and over again. his eyes glazed at the eight year old child in such a malicious way that she had to turn away. even now she couldn’t look someone in the eyes long enough to show real emotions. adri could still recall the taunts from the other children. some whispered how bad of a girl she was. others said she was just stupid. the ways they said this made her turn red and slide into her seat as quietly as possible, trying not to make a sound. and twelve thought of the ways he deprived her from having a regular childhood. she could have grown up ‘normal’. she could have been one of those girls she always longed to be, but now, she... she wasn’t. she could never be. because who ever wanted to have someone who was so scarred? no one ever wanted the broken toy in the toy store. it always stayed on the shelf, waiting to come down. in the end, it ended up in the garbage bin. that’s why this boy made her just a bit curious. he didn’t seem to be hurt in such ways, but the way he presented himself was much different from the kids at school. instead of slouching, he sat up straight. his words were precise and his manners perfected. he was wearing what seemed to be expensive clothes, but he put others first. arya liked it. she liked that something about him. she didn’t know what it was but she liked it.

nate spoke more about hannah and arya couldn’t help but disagree. she didn’t want to- her thing was never make conflict... but she couldn’t let someone say something about the girl in a bad way. hannah had saved her from almost becoming the laughingstock during a school project. they had come to the restaurant for dinner and when the girls realized that she didn’t agree with their argument, they nearly shouted some very mean things. teenagers were mean, she learned that the hard way, but there was a definite reason why arya was loyal to her friends. they all had a certain reason why they were her friends and the stories definitely were close to her heart. she shrugged too and shook her head a little, “true at times, but she tries to make things fair... even if she is a bit off track.” she gestured the setting they were in. a forced date, as she would have called it. if her brother were here, he would have been appalled that she was eating with a stranger. but honestly, she liked being here, even if it was a bit of an unusual circumstance. she just hoped she wasn’t making things too awkward for him. she knew that her conversation skills weren’t quite the best, but already, his voice and his words were making her feel much more at ease. most people weren’t like that. she usually had more of a negative view on them, but the boy, he seemed different. she felt like he was actually someone who cared. she didn’t know why, but she really did hope to keep in touch with him after. even if she had just spent a few minutes with the boy. just pretend... you’re with fields and dorey. theodore abercrombie and felix longbottom. she could do this. they were the ones who understood her best and were also the ones who saw her smile the most. arya tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and smiled shyly at him. don’t be someone you’re not... she couldn’t even do that even if she tried. she wasn’t an actress. artist, yes, dancer, possibly. but that was more of adele’s thing. she was more of the musician than she was. nate and hannah didn’t quite seem to hit it off, but if anything, it was more of an... icebreaker. she felt her cheeks burn before realizing she owed him a bit of an explanation. “um... one time, hannah had been on someone’s case for, uh, wiping their nose on the table cloth and her boss was just coming out from the kitchen. i was sort of nearby and well, i tried to warn her, but i tripped and... there was a lot of food that fell on the floor, let’s say,” arya glanced down, letting a small laugh escape.

his next comments made her look up, a bit surprised, but also intrigued. she didn’t know what sort of person he was, but just when she thought she judged him, he gave more perspective about his character. most people were like that, always surprising her, but there was something about him that drew her in. she glanced at him, the ends of her lips curled, “i know... and no need to be sorry because if he came, i would have never met you.” almost as soon as the words finished, she realized what she said, feeling her face flush once more. she hadn’t meant to say that out loud and even if she wanted to, she didn’t know what implied her to actually say it right in front of him. not stuttering was the main goal right now, but why couldn’t she just say quotes that would make it more movie like? more like she knew what she was saying. she didn’t know why, but she always seemed to say the strangest things at the wrong time. in fact, she couldn’t even keep quiet when she had to, let alone say the right things at the right time. arya gazed at where he sat with his dad and wondered what it was like to eat dinner with your folks. her parents were usually too busy, working to eat with the family but even if there were rare times that they did, no one said anything. all you could hear is the clanking of forks to plates and awkward silence surrounding the room. “is that why you were upset?” again, she shut her eyes tight and opened them, frustrated that she couldn’t be smooth. “i’m so sorry, i... i don’t seem to have a word filter... or filter of any sort, really.” how had she survived all of her other dates? were they all as painfully difficult as this? she nodded, still arguing inside of her head about the mistakes she already made. maybe she should just shut up now. nah, that wouldn’t work either. why were things so complicated? arya gently took the menu from his hand, letting the food names occupy her mind for a little while. the good thing about the restaurant was that the food was reasonably priced and so even she could come to enjoy a meal every now and then. her greyish green eyes skimmed each order and dish before finally saying, “i think the grilled salmon with mixed vegetables... how about you?” this was actually sort of a nice... date. or get together... or forced together. it didn’t matter. she was enjoying herself, even if she slipped up every other word. arya didn’t get to go out with friends that often due to her busy schedule. she was already working at flourish and botts and her school work was starting to get harder. it was difficult to sometimes keep on top of everything. it’s my treat... his words surprised her once again and almost instantly she shook her head, “no, no, it’s okay. it’s fine, it’s fine, i can pay,” resisting was just the way she was raised. she didn’t accept many gifts from people and it was only because her parents always taught her that she shouldn’t. it was funny how much an influence her mum and dad had on her despite the little time they actually spent together.

SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL ♥

holaa ZOOM!. this post has about... er. 1500 -- AH! HOW DID IT GET THIS LONG? asldjal;fjsd words. i swear, i am incapable of uber small posts. anyways, she's wearing this hurr pretty little dress. boy, if i could pull that off, i'd be very very happy. lol. oh yeah. credits go to brighter than the sun, colbie calliat for their eppic lyrics and this template (as plain as it seems) belongs to moi and i'm damn proud of it. lol. mhmm. false pride. anyways, any last notes? heeeck yeah, i like to ramble. two things- one. they are what i shall call 'double a'. awkwardly adorable. i wonder what if i saw a couple like that a restaurant and what'd i'd think of 'em. lmao. and second thing! it took me the longest time to figure out a dish! all i could think of were asian foods and i'm like, "why would they have fried rice at this sorta restaurant?!"

[nathaniel w. mclaggen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr244/Unique-Jul/background-grey.jpg);width: 450px;padding-top:20px;] the chance i'm taking with all that i've got TAG: ARYA , WORD COUNT: 1360 , LYRIC CREDIT: NEVEREST , NOTES: LOL I WOULDN'T WATCH XDDD AHA THEIR BEAUTY WOULD BURN & I COULDN'T THINK OF FANCY FOODS... so nate growing up was a little spoiled. he had a lot of love and he had never had to deal with tough time. he wasn't sheltered, more like protected. any time that nate was in any danger, he would be sent to his grandmother's or a place where he wouldn't have to witness any horrors. he had grown up happy. both his parents had made it a priority for nate to have a good childhood. a good childhood meant that nate would grow up a strong and good man. while he wasn't sure how good of a job his father had done, he was pretty proud of who he had become. he wasn't like the rest of teh boys. he wasn't an egotistical man who wanted nothing more than boobs and other girly parts. it was a fault that he didn't want a real relationship but he usually made it clear that it wasn't his intention to be in a relationship. out of all that could be wrong with nate, that was the one thing. he wasn't ready for commitment. he was very guarded and a perfectionist. he didn't want anyone to see his weaknesses. it was something that he had picked up from his dad who also put on this mask that everything was fine. nothing was going wrong in nate's life but maybe he should consider a relationship for once. he could be missing out on a great girl. this thought never crossed his mind, all he could think of was no. he didn't want this. this wasn't what he needed. a little closed minded but nate couldn't be serious with anyone. he didn't have any skeletons in the closet so he didn't understand why he was like this. his parents weren't exactly a fairytale but at this time it wasn't a surprise when two people separated. maybe he didn't want to accept that the divorce had actually hurt him. to know that while everything was good in his life, that wasn't. why couldn't his life just be perfect? if his parents had been happy, nate would have been completely happy. he was convinced of this. this wasn't very likely the truth but nate did put up excuses. he didn't want to seem at fault for anything. that's why he presented himself as okay with everything. everything was fine and dandy. he wasn't overly happy about anything but he kept his composure whenever anything went wrong. he did try and convince himself that everything was going to be okay when it wasn't actually going to be. so everything had gone right for him and handed to him on a silver platter. nate was scared of when it would actually crash down. he had never felt a traumatic situation and he was scared that when he did that he wouldn't know how to handle it. he wouldn't be this perfect boy anymore. nate shrugged at arya's comment. he didn't know hannah and the impression that she had made on nate wasn't the same as arya's. he knew that if he had to spend more time with hannah after this, it wouldn't be good but nate did have this sorta attitude where if someone didn't get along with him that he'd avoid them and try to be civil. he would try. it was much better than his father who felt like he could replace that person. if he was like his father in this situation, he was sure that he would have clapped his hands requesting the manager of the restaurant to fire the vile girl for putting such accusations on him. cruel but true. his father had this not bullshit tolerance. if anything irked him, he would get rid of it. hannah was lucky though. nate was a saint compared to his dad. he wasn't actually going to say this though. he grinded his molars before relaxing his jaw. nate didn't know how much of a fan hannah was of him though. as a customer, nate knew the girl had to be civil when it came to customers. nate could be kicked out of the restaurant but with the lawyers his father had, he would be able to get right back in. the way he was now thinking, he had spent too much time with his dad (about two hours). nate would never do something that horrible to a girl. he was way too nice for something like that. "now that sounds like a mess." he put a smile on his face imagining the situation. "hopefully it wasn't this one." he looked down seeing that the white was perfectly white but he didn't even want to imagine all the drooling customers had been hanging around it. "if anything use the napkins. you must spend a lot of time here then?" it sounded like she was a regular. it was the first time that he had been here, he didn't know anyone here. nate had never been a regular anywhere other than clothing stores. custom suit stores to be specific. they all thought they had nate's measurements down but mr. mclaggen would insist on being measured again each time. a little much nate thought since he was twenty and by now he would have been done with puberty. the only reason why he was a regular there was because the people who worked there knew that the mclaggens were big spenders. anything added onto a suit, mr. mclaggen would take. nate wouldn't have minded going to a regular clothing store and picking up khaki shorts and a t-shirt. "i really don't think i'm much actually." nate's grin was lopsided on his face. it wasn't like he was the prince of anything. he was a mclaggen but he never thought his name was famous. it wasn't like arya had wanted him to come in the first place. she had wanted to go on a date with another guy. nate had been pushed into this situation. arya hardly knew him anyway. he could be anyone to her and she wouldn't know. he never felt like he had a solid identity. he had no idea what this other guy was like. well he was a guy that arya liked? nate was liked by girls but they were all friends. nate had never tried to pull any moves on any of them except for summer but that had been at hogwarts. an awkward time for nate actually. he looked up when arya asked if he had been upset. "oh no," nate tried to hide the fact that he had the emotion of being upset. "it was just a talk." his dad could have sent him an owl but he had to do it in person of course. putting up this act that his dad wanted to be genuine. that wasn't true at all. all his dad wanted was for nate to have the same passion as he did for business. "it's just how parents can be." he shrugged again trying to keep the situation light. he had never really talked to anyone about his parents. only person who had come even close was ele and he still wasn't ready to talk about what happened. he didn't even like to talk about his father now. nate would gloat about how amazing his mom was but when it came to his dad, nate would push the topic aside. he opened the menu and grinned, he had sorta dissected the filet he hadn't eaten with his dad that he didn't even know if he felt like a nicer dish. he cleared his throat with a grin. "i was actually thinking something like chicken fingers or a burger." his voice had relaxed. while he was dressed like he was ready for a lobster, nate didn't want that. too much work. all he wanted was food in front of him. he shook his head. "no i never allow a girl to pay on a date." it did shoot nate's ego when a girl wanted to pay. he was the man. he should pay. this was being a little sexist but it didn't feel right whenever a girl offered.

[arya c. wallece]

SHINING HOW WE WANT

she could feel her confidence rising, bit by bit. she became a little more comfortable, just a bit. her body became a little less stiff and her fingers had stopped fiddling with the table cloth. the thing about her was that when she started to grow fond of someone, it was obvious to see the major changes in her body language and the tone of voice she used to speak with. she would smile more often, maybe crack a joke here and there for the fun of it. for her, it took time to get used to people. with some, it took maybe a few minutes, with others, it could never happen. and apparently nate had that effect on her. she liked talking to him. his voice was calm, his manners polite, and he didn’t seem to mind her awkwardness. it was people like that whom made her feel a little better about her ‘condition’ as she liked to call it. no one liked to criticize so when she stammered, people just walked away. they never even gave her a second try. nate approached her about it and although the comment was just a bit embarrassing for her, she appreciated it. she liked how he was able to be honest with these sorts of... blemishes when everyone else in the world pretended they didn’t happen. there were so many times in the world where people would ignore something in fears of just being wrong. she didn’t care for being wrong. she just wanted people to be honest. she didn’t know what was going on in nate’s life. things like who he was, why he was well, here, made her curious and she wanted to know more about him. there weren’t man times when she became incredibly curious around people, but if you got along with her and she started to loosen up, she had somewhat of an obsession about getting to know you. keeping in touch, all of these things were important to her. it was... it was something that made him stand out from other people. it was strange that a comment like that put him in such a positive light.

arya pinched her hand quickly from underneath the table. hannah didn’t always make a great impression on people and clearly nate wasn’t as taken to her as arya was. the thing was that they met maybe a few months ago when she had just been starting. they were both very different and it was the whole idea of opposites attracting. the girl was blunt and bold while she wasn’t. maybe it was just a good day, or a bad day, or whatever, but she wasn’t having the best of luck. she stubbed her toe on a door, she accidentally knocked over a whole aisle of tampons in a muggle store, the whole ordeal had been incredibly embarrassing. she came to the restaurant to hopefully calm down a little when she met hannah. some of her classmates were in a mean mood. they mocked her and it was the new waitress who saved her. the two spent the rest of the evening talking and while the shyer one rarely spoke, hannah laughed and laughed at arya’s lame attempt to be funny. she had told the tampon story and while most people would have just shook their head in politeness, hannah practically sprayed water from her mouth. the two hit it off quite well and that was a nice ending to a bad day. arya the soft a small chuckle escaped from her lips, “no, it wasn’t this one.” she glanced behind her shoulder and nodded to her left side. her voice quieted, as if to become just a tad more dramatic, “see the table with the couple and two little girls? that’s the one.” she noticed a while ago that the family was rather quite loud. one of the girls, a pretty blond one happened to complaining constantly to her mum and dad while the other girl had her headphones on, but even then, the music was much too loud. their loud american accents were easy to pick out from everyone else, but unfortunately, there wasn’t a bright side to the situation. arya nodded slightly, “it’s a nice place to think... away from the campus, really. also, the people here are really nice. the boss is an old friend of my mum’s.” she missed her family, an odd thought at that time, but she missed them. “and i take it this is your first time? i think i would have recognized you if you came once before,” she gave a teasing smile and tucked a piece of her reddish blond hair behind an ear. she wasn’t flirting, no, not at all. she couldn’t flirt to save her life. the last time that happened, she was seven years old. she had been kicking a boy under the table, trying to get his attention and the teacher caught her. she was told that if she kept it up, the two would stand in front of the class and hold hands for an hour. the whole thing had been incredibly awkward and that was the last known attempt to be flirty. not only that, but arya wasn’t the type to do such a thing. her aura was truthful and shy, never trying to attract attention of any kind.

she smiled back, ignoring her cheeks once again growing warm, “i highly doubt that.” many people had dreams. they wanted to be aurors, they wanted to be firemen, they wanted to be someone who made a difference. many of them never became it though. they became different people. they became much more realistic. they just became... ordinary. sure they had their special perks. they had families, they did things that changed lives. they were special in their own ways. but there were other people who were different to begin with. people like albus dumbledore, harry potter, rupert thomas, and a few more- the ones who made a mark on the world. they had something about them that made them stand out. maybe they were natural born leaders. maybe they were just heaven sent or something funny like that. but they weren’t like other people. they were just different. automatically. and the world saw that. and honestly, this referred backed to nate. she didn’t know who he was, but she could see that through his suit and his tie, there was a genuine person. she had met many people in her life time. starting from her hometown to the parties adrienne attended to the art studios she went to to the psychiatrist appointments that twelve met up with, there were many, many people who were involved. and she was almost certain she could spot these sorts of people if she ran into them. she didn’t know why she thought such positive things about him, but his presence just lit up the room. she couldn’t help but tilt her head at his defense, her grey eyes deep with worry. she didn’t like conflicts. she tried to avoid them but she also did like to be the peace maker. “parents are rather difficult,” arya gently folded her napkin into criss cross and backs. her gaze directed at her fingers which were busy folding, “but they do mean the best... even if they don’t seem like it...” she paused to glance up. she was too occupied in her own thoughts to even think that she was crossing the line between confidence and stupidity. oh what were you doing?

she closed her arms for a second before making a few more folds in the napkin. she put it to the side of the table. her voice suddenly softened like it had been before, “my mum’s that way... well, both my parents, really. they were difficult, i mean.” her words trembled but she held a steady gaze into his deep brown eyes. she didn’t know why she was saying this. it was just spilling out all of a sudden and it wouldn’t stop. “they worked... a lot. we never had a family dinner. my brother is only a year or two older than i am, but he practically raised me himself. he was there for me all the time, especially after i turned eight.” arya looked back down, silent for several moments, “i don’t even know why i’m telling you this,” she gave a soft laugh. she glanced back up at him, a little more uncomfortable as well as shyer. she just told him more than she really told anyone. she wanted to. she just never thought it would actually come out. “but maybe... it’s because... i...” she was about to add on when her words faltered. she didn’t know what to say, how to act, and it made her so called lecture all the less meaningful. she was just now talking to herself wasn’t she. nate probably left in her jumbled up words and thought she was just going crazy. arya cleared her throat quietly, her fingers gently fiddling with the flower petals that nate gave her, “i know i’ll never be my mum... or my dad. they have traits in them i’ll never get and they have dreams for me that i’ll never achieve... i just have to be my own person... have my own life, one that makes me happy... of course one with a little more...” heart. she paused and pushed lightly the folded napkin. it was a folding of a heart. a napkin heart. oragami, the only thing that her mum really ever taught her to make and the irony was that she always thought her mum’s love was false. she never cared for the two children. she never once took them to the park to just play around. but if it was anything her parents taught her, it was to be her own person. one who made her own decisions to make herself happy. because if she didn’t, her life would just be miserable. miserable, i tell you. cold, hollow, empty job with no heart as well.

arya just made things incredibly awkward didn’t she. she bit the inside of her cheek as he somehow was able to make things relaxed again. she felt the ends of her lips curl up once more as she chuckled, “um, yeah, sure, that sounds great actually.” she didn’t mean to go all deep on him and such, it was an instinct. she was an artist. she had the tendency to analyze issues like these and while it drove some people crazy, it gave her much joy to do so. she liked observing people, seeing their habits. it gave her an insight on the world that most people didn’t really get to see. she just had to tune back into the conversation in order to make up for her strange tuning out comments. the one about a little more heart. right? arya shrugged, “i... okay... thank you then. thanks for the dinner,” she smiled lightly and couldn’t help but add, “again, i hope i didn’t make things awkward... my filter must be at the laundry’s... or something.” another lame attempt at telling a joke. she would have smacked her own forehead if they weren’t in public... and in front of nate as well.

SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL ♥

holaa ZOOM!. this post has about... er. 1887 (er... yeah. let's pretend it was like 1000 instead) words. i swear, i am incapable of uber small posts. anyways, she's wearing this hurr pretty little dress. boy, if i could pull that off, i'd be very very happy. lol. oh yeah. credits go to brighter than the sun, colbie calliat for their eppic lyrics and this template (as plain as it seems) belongs to moi and i'm damn proud of it. lol. mhmm. false pride. anyways, any last notes? heeeck yeah, i like to ramble. lmao. niceeee XDD mygosh- talk about your awkwardness and total bipolarness. i'm starting to have no idea where this date is going!

[nathaniel w. mclaggen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr244/Unique-Jul/background-grey.jpg);width: 450px;padding-top:20px;] the chance i'm taking with all that i've got TAG: ARYA , WORD COUNT: 1589 , LYRIC CREDIT: NEVEREST , NOTES: OMG AUS CALM DOWN WITH THE WORD COUNT LOLOLOL while nate was calm in this situation, he could have easily been nervous. as a mclaggen, he had been taught to never lose his cool. no matter how much someone pushed the mclaggens, they kept calm. it was easier to put on a poker face than to take the time to explain what was wrong. this wasn't the best way to think but it was how nate was taught. he didn't know any better than that. nate didn't know what kind of impression he was making on arya but he would guess it was the same one that he gave to everyone. he wished that it was easier for him to be more easy-going but he liked to be in control. he had to blame for his dad for these traits. when nate's mother had become ill, nate had started to spend a lot of time with his dad. even though he did loathe it, his father's ways rubbed off on him. when he was younger, nate had told himself that he would end up the same as his dad was. clearly that didn't happen. nate was becoming just like him. with his mom ill and unable to see nate all the time, he didn't have much of an influence from her. maybe that was his problem when it came to his relationships. nate was unable to be real with any girl that came along. he didn't want to be the bad guy. it was easier for nate to say that he wasn't interested in a relationship than to actually try and end up looking like the bad guy. he was a perfectionist and he knew better than to let emotions get in the way of anything. nate could never be described a guy who ever did show all his cards. going on dates with girls meant that he would tell them about himself, how he liked quidditch, his favorite was spaghetti, he had nothing against muggles, anything that sounded generic. it was so easy to say these things rather than speak up and say something wrong. it wasn't that nate wasn't honest. he thought the truth was very important but he hid a lot of what was happening. it was easier for people to not know what was going on in his personal life. it had always been like this for nate. everything had a mask over it. nate didn't feel like he was lying to himself. he preferred it this way. nate understood why arya would be protective over her best friend. he was the same when it came to ryder and paxton. if anyone were to mess with them, nate would send people. he didn't want to do the dirty work but his father had connections. if a girl didn't like his friends, he didn't think that he'd be able to go out with that person. she had to be able to get along with them. paxton and ryder had been there before she had been. they had been friends since hogwarts and still were in their university year. the three shared a dorm together and nate thought of them as his brothers. nate had grown up an only child and had always wanted some kind of sibling. the boys were his age so he thought of them as his twin brother? they were very different from him but the same age so it worked out. he just couldn't see himself choosing a girl over those guys. he knew that ryder would do the same when it came to a girl and paxton with a boy. "well i hope that they washed it then." while he did think that the family sitting at the table was obnoxious, it was only right that the table cloth be washed after someone would wipe their bodily items off. nate nodded. he didn't really have a place to go. he'd sometimes to go a balcony of the school hoping that no one would be there but he hadn't found a place where no one would ever figure to go. "yeah first time. it's close by. my dad and i just needed somewhere to sit." his dad didn't know the area very well and he had been on a tight schedule to go to another meeting that nate would suggest this place. he had heard that it was popular but when the food had arrived to the table, his father had snooted his nose up in the air. his dad was used to the royal treatment. while others thought the food was nice, his dad wanted better. nate didn't understand when his father would ever be satisfied with anything. he thought that arya was a pretty nice girl. she seemed a little nervous but also very sweet. nate turned his face away, he really didn't like it when people tried to tell him that he was good. it wasn't that he didn't think he was a good person but nate didn't want it to get to his head. in all honesty, nate didn't think that he was as good as a lot of boys in the university, he didn't feel as if he had anything that made him different. he had nothing to bring to the table when it came to the person he was. he shook his head at the comment about parents being difficult. his dad was the most difficult person that he had ever met. what his mother lacked, his father had strength in and vice-versa. nate's father prided himself in structure but nate felt that sometimes it was too much. he had no freedom when he was with his dad. the freedom to be an individual was lost when you walked into the home. while his mom owned a cozy cottage, his dad had bought a vast white home. walking in, there was an eggshell colored floor with a chandelier above. two sets of staircases that met in the middle and to the side of the staircases was the kitchen and a living room. nate couldn't believe that one man lived here. it could fit a family of ten. "yes i know." he smiled looking up at arya. he fidgeted with the watch that was around his wrist. he didn't talk about his father much and when he did, it made him uncomfortable. nate never knew what to say about him. he couldn't say that his father was a good man but he wasn't going to disrespect him either. it was very conflicting. "i'm sure that's true. sometimes hard to see though." as a young adult, it was only natural to not agree with parents. nate had never rebelled against his parents but he didn't always with agree with either of them. his mother gave him too much freedom while his father gave him none. nate was surprised when arya started to talk about her family. it was different from what nate was going to say but he stayed quiet and listened. he knew that he wasn't going to go into detail about his family. "my dad is the same way," nate lowered his voice reaching over the table to grasp at the heart. he twirled it around continuing to speak. "i'm an only child though. my parents never did make it long enough to have another one." nate shrugged. while he never did like saying that, he had learned to accept it. he never was going to have a little brother or sister. not unless mr. mclaggen found a woman that was up to his standards. "but you're twenty now?" he could only guess her age but older than seventeen. "they really have no control over your decisions. while their opinions do weigh heavy in your heart, it doesn't mean that you have to listen to them." he put the paper heart back on the table. he had done that to his dad. choosing muggle studies over business was probably the most devastating day for mr. mclaggen. while he still wanted nate to take over the business, nate didn't think he would know the first thing about running a business. he didn't have the iron fist that his father ruled with. he would much rather his father give the responsibility to an employee who deserved it. the only time that nate ever saw the mclaggen business was when he was younger and mr. mclaggen wanted to show nate off. he'd boast that one day nate would be at the top like he was. at the time, nate didn't know what this would mean but he now wished that he had been sick all those days that his dad needed him. he grinned hoping that he wasn't making it too weird that he wanted to go casual for the date. he loosened the tie off his neck. he now wished that he had dressed a little more casual. it looked like nate was going to order a lobster, all he needed was the bib but after the serious discussion that he had with his dad he didn't want anything fru-fru. "no it's nothing i'm not used to." he was a guy. he had been surrounded by boys who were way more honest and to add crude than arya. he waved a server over asking for their meal. the server a little bit surprised with nate's choice. "and oh tell hannah, we'd like that cake she was talking about earlier." hannah had only shown nate the cake and they hadn't eaten yet. might as well have it for dessert.