ONE OF THESE DAYS

[celeste i. harper]

if i could just see you

i think of you, and wonder if you ever think of me too

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] IN YOUR MEMORY ! Celeste Harper was an organized person. She had been a planner from a young age, so it came to no surprise that because it was a Monday, she was planning on teaching her four year old son something she had yet to introduce, or else had started to and wanted him to get practice on. The Ravenclaw girl was the type of mother that didn’t want to deprive her child of anything. She wanted him to be introduced to as many things as possible so that he could gain his own opinion of them from a young age. It was because of the family that she grew up in that she had chosen to introduce him to his first muggle sport today. Most members of the Harper family weren’t muggle-loving or even liking for that matter. They had their own reasons why, though Celeste had always found nothing wrong with them. Like always, she was the odd ball in her family. With varying personalities always bouncing off the walls of her gala, Celeste grew her own opinions and wouldn’t let anyone tell her different. In her mind, people were people, no matter what blood-type they were and if they could perform magic or not. The kind of openness that she wasn’t exposed to was the type she wanted to let her son have- one of the many reasons she kept him as far away from her twin sister as possible. Opening the curtains to her apartment, Celeste had rented out one of the residents to keep away from the University. She had heard rumors that Alexander was starting up at the school and there was no way in hell that she wanted to come across him more often than necessary. Although she hadn’t seen him, it was quite possible that they had crossed paths of some sort. Celeste wasn’t too attentive to the people who surrounded her unless Benjamin was by her side. Being a protective mother, she always wanted to know what kind of people were by them. When by herself, however, she liked to avoid noticing when people stared her way and an easy way of doing this was simply not paying any attention and focusing on her destination instead. Cracking the window open to allow some fresh air into the living room, she headed to the nursery where her little Benjie was sleeping tight. It was eight o’clock in the morning, which meant it was also his time to wake up and get active. ”Benjamin, honey. It’s time to get up and dressed.” she spoke softly, rubbing at his arm to get his attention. Benjamin had never been too hard of a sleeper, though he had never given her trouble at night unless he was sick. Even then he wasn’t too much trouble. Being a single mother, everything was harder. Celeste always reminded herself that she was a single mother by choice, and because of this never once complained or wondered “why me.” Smiling as her four year old rolled over; there was never a regret that passed through her mind about him. Yes, she was young when she had him but the Ravenclaw had so much love for her little boy it was unbelievable. ”Do good boys get eggs?” the little boy asked, letting out a yawn as his dark brown eyes met hers. Brushing his hair out of his face, every morning she couldn’t help but think how much he looked like his father. ”Of course they do.” she exclaimed, letting out a chuckle. For the past year she had started a routine with him. It all began with the discovery that he LOVED eggs. It didn’t seem to matter how they were cooked, or even if they were plain or with toast and bacon. Either way, he was ecstatic every time. She had told him that when he was good and woke up for her without a hassle in the morning, she would cook him whatever he wanted- most days, unsurprisingly, it was eggs that he asked for. Watching as he scrambled out of bed and towards his closet, she shook her head in amusement and left him to change, trusting him to choose what to wear. It was always interesting to see what he choose, as some days she didn’t even need to tell him that they didn’t match, and others he had the most bizarre thing on and yet didn’t care because “it was what he wanted to wear.” The fact that he was four and at times dressing himself, she saw, made him feel like a big boy. Pouring herself a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, she sipped out of the mug and opened the carton of eggs she had fetched out of the fridge. Cracking two, she placed a plate, utensils and a napkin out where Benjamin always sat at the table. Having already eaten before she woke him up, it was in her routine that she would read while he ate his breakfast. Book ready on the table, the only thing that she was missing was the ketchup. She had no idea why, as she had never had a thing for it, but Benjamin loved ketchup with his eggs. Turning to go get it, she saw the fridge was already open and Benjamin was closing it with a big push, ketchup in hand. ”Don’t forget the catch-up, Mummy!”

[/i][/b] he told her, holding it up in his hand, eyes big. The size of the fridge compared to him was something; however he seemed to be able to reach the very end of the handle. It was because of this that one of the only things kept by the bottom was, in fact, the ketchup.

Despite the fact that he loved ketchup so much, Benjamin was never able to say it right. Going over her near daily lesson on how to say it properly, he didn’t seem to keen to catch onto it properly. He was content on pronouncing it completely wrong. He was, after all, only four and in a child’s mind, as long as it didn’t change the taste, why would the fact that he pronounced a word different matter? Leaving the house at nine o’clock, Celeste picked up her son and told him to close his eyes. She wasn’t too keen on apperating with him, but she did want him to get used to it so on occasion she would. Appearing a minute later at the field on the University campus, she didn’t bring her son around many other parts because she didn’t find that she hung around school much aside from her classes. The field was one of the places she visited with him most, as it was a great, vast place that she could teach him what she pleased every Monday morning, considering she only had classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and it was the day she had assigned such a day for. Celeste found that the grounds weren’t too busy around nine; therefore it was safe for her to be out with her son without having to be the typical mother she had always been. Soccer ball in one hand and Benjamin’s small hand in her other, she walked over to where the posts where. Of course the whole field was far too much for the little boy, which was why she created smaller, closer posts with one flick of her wand. Celeste was going to take it slow, and didn’t actually plan on playing a game, obviously. Telling Benjamin that they were going to pass with only their feet, no hands allowed, she placed the ball on the ground in front of him and took a few steps back. ”Come on, Benjie. Pass the ball to Mum!” she called, cheering him on. Taking a few more steps back, she found that she crashed into someone behind her. Stumbling slightly, she caught herself and turned to apologize. Realizing who it was, she glanced at the few feet between her and her son, noticing that he had also stopped to look at the man. “Oh for the sake of bearded ladies, today just had to be it!” Celeste murmured to herself, knowing that she was definitely not prepared to this day to come. Fully aware that it would come sometime in her life, she wanted it to be planned, not unexpected. Gathering herself as much as she could, Celeste found that she wasn’t able to look at him in the eye. ”Hi, Alex.” she pushed out, her voice quiet and soft. Reaching her hand out for Benjamin, she didn’t want him standing there alone, no matter how close she was to him. After all, when her attention wasn’t his way, she had to know he was safe. There was no kidding around when talking about the half-veela being paranoid.
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1474 WORDS , ALEX WEASLEY , listening to VANESSA CARLTON , I HAD TOO!

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table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

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[alexander c. weasley]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » losing your memory. for the past four years, alexander weasley had written the best songs he’d ever written. for the first three years of his songwriting career, his songs were all four chords and they were all about shallow relationships, or girls who he thought he loved, or girls he could only stare at. he and maverick- despite their talents in voice and guitar playing- couldn’t write a good song to save their lives. it wasn’t like they were all that bad. they were just… lacking something. it took him a long time to figure out what it was. and then… four years ago, he figured it out. after falling in love with the most amazing girl in his life. His songs were lacking feeling and truth because he had never truly been in love. The songs were fun to listen to, or so he thought, but they were just... shallow. Things that the generic scene girls would like because they heard it on their friend's music feed. They were songs that were just... not goldfish- songs by 3OH3!, when what he wanted was the Beatles. He wanted carouses that got stuck in your head because they had a killer melody you couldn't forget, not because they had a good beat. He always dreamed about writing his own version if "hey there delilah" for the girl he was gaga for. He wanted a girl to know it was about them. He wanted the best. And his songs, four years ago, were not the best. But since meeting the most amazing girl ever thought of, his songs had more to them. His happy songs were happier, with both killer melodies and a good beat (or so he imagined in his head). His love songs actually made sense. The slow songs had more meaning, the faster love songs were more fun. And the sad songs? Well... after three years ago... they had been perfected. the girl in question was one miss celeste isadora harper, and she was absolutely amazing. in his wildest dreams, alex would never have imagined dating a girl quite as beautiful, or open hearted as celeste was. at first glance, celeste was simply a beautiful girl, with long golden blonde hair, clear blue eyes, and the sweetest, shiest smile he'd even encountered. she was very obviously gorgeous. that was the thing that maverick would notice- her pretty face. and that was what maverick did notice, in her twin sister ellery. at first, alex was only supposed to be the wing man, there to distract the cute sister while maverick did all kinds of hitting on ellery. but in the end, it became something much different. if anything, maverick was there to distract ellery while alex wooed celeste... or, attempted to at least. what alex was doing really couldn't be considered wooing. he wasn't smooth enough. he was just awkwardly making conversation, which, in his own goldfish type way, he guessed was sort of cute. he succeeded in making her laugh, and by the end of the night, they were most definitely friends. over the days following, they became better friends. they were seeing each other every day, talking about everything and nothing at all, all while either walking along the boardwalk of the french coast, or being simply on the beach itself. the beach would always be their meeting place, and they would spend most of the day close enough to the water that high tide would just barely get the tips of their toes. it seemed like he was spending more time with celeste than with anyone else. there were numerous complaints from best friend maverick and baby sister lennox, but in some moments, he didn't care. of course he loved his two best mates, but he got to see them all the time. celeste was a one time opportunity, and he wasn't passing it up. he still made time to hang out with them, but if he wasn't, he was with her. before the end of the summer, alex could barely handle it anymore. he had to be with her- she was the girl of his dreams. of course she was beautiful- she was half veela. but that didn't matter to him. what he loved about her was her personality. she was amazing and sweet and loving, and she always had an open heart. so by the time the summer was out, the two were dating. alex couldn't have felt luckier. how amazing was that? he was dating a veela. maverick more or less wanted to shoot him for it, but he was happy for his best friend. he couldn't quite say he was in love, but he had extremely strong feelings for her, and didn't want the summer to end. but the summer did end, and goldfish had to go home to england, and back to school. celeste went to beauxbatons, and he went to hogwarts. in the last two days they spent together on the beach, he told her that she was amazing, and only a crazy person would think of letting her go. the relationship was going to be hard, and would have to work over a series of letters- at least one for each day of the year until they saw each other again. she promised to write back, and he promised he'd send pictures. it was a dream come true, being with her. the letters they wrote to each other were sweet, and he couldn't help but smile every time he'd read them. it was hard, having a girlfriend half a country away, but he still felt the same every time he read those letters as he did when he was with her all summer. so the feelings for her never faded, but it was still hard. if it was possible to fall in love with someone through letters, it most definitely happened to alex with celeste. he already liked her enough, but this was more than like. this was love. so the first time he saw her when he went back for vacation was kiss her the way he'd been meaning to for a year. and from there, things were absolutely amazing. he told her, for sure, that he loved her. and with that, things escalated. the both of them were sure they loved each other, and... passion took over. they got carried away one night... alex couldn't remember a better feeling then having celeste in his arms, sound asleep. she was beautiful, even when her hair was a mess and she was snoring very quietly. she was just... amazing. they spent the rest of the summer like that. he never pressured lettie. he couldn't. it was their mutual choice if, and when it happened. but somewhere in the midst of their summer happiness... things changed. and lettie told him she never wanted to see him again. ever since that moment, alexander weasley had changed. celeste had done that to him not once, but twice. at first, she changed him for the better, making him slightly more serious about things... and the second, it made him a better songwriter. he all but stormed into the vacation house and demanded his father bring him home. fred didn't ask questions. he simply did as his son asked and let him cool down. his guitar got the blunt of his anger, and by the end of the night, he'd written too many songs to count. the next day, he called maverick over, and they sang through them. that was how the band started. now, three years later, the band was still intact, and alex's heart was just starting to mend... barely. maverick always told him he was being a sissy about things... but he wasn't. this was the girl he loved. there was nothing sissy about it. today was a day for walking, he decided. the fields on the school grounds were always a good place to relax under a tree and play guitar to himself, and the walk always cleared his head. grabbing his acoustic guitar and its case, alex started walking toward the field, not even paying attention to anything. by the time he got down there, it felt like only a second or two had passed. that was when he saw her. he knew that head of hair anywhere. he spent enough time playing with it over the course of two summers. his eyes widened as he walked toward her, pausing to look at the little blonde boy she was playing catch with. that was when he heard it. "pass the ball to mum!". mum. he was hers. jesus, he'd been so naive. there she was, with a little boy, and he'd waited three years to be back with her... and she had a kid. he couldn't have been older than three or so. but all thoughts left his head when she bumped into him. he swallowed. "hi lettie." he said, unable to call her by her full name. he looked down at her for a moment before turning his attention to the little boy now at her side. he set his guitar down and crouched to his level. "and who might you be? i'm alex, but you can call me goldfish." he said, smiling. he looked up at celeste again, then back to the kid. well... whether it was his or not, it didn't mean lex had to be rude or awkward to him, right? and anyway, he loved kids, end of story. lettie, sorry it took ages , 1587

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[celeste i. harper]

if i could just see you

i think of you, and wonder if you ever think of me too

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] IN YOUR MEMORY ! Celeste had never been in love before she met Alexander Weasley. Her days were spent alone by the beach, a hardcover book in hand. The fantasy world was her home away from home; the only place she knew would guarantee her no surprise that altered the course of the world around her entirely. Celeste wasn’t one for change. She liked to know what was going on without any surprises. That all changed when she met the only man she could ever love. Alexander Weasley wasn’t a smooth guy. He didn’t have pick-up lines that wouldn’t be called cheesy (if they existed) and he couldn’t start up a conversation with any girl without looking nervous- at least he hadn’t started up the one with her without looking nervous. Ellery had dragged her out, saying that she had to at least show her face every once in awhile so the world knew that there was more than just one beautiful person out there, obviously referring to herself. Celeste never could understand how her twin ended up so vain and still be left with someone like her. It was a true mystery. They had been leaning over by a bar top when Alexander and a friend, who she now knew to be Maverick, came up to them. As Maverick tried to ‘work his magic’ on Ellery, quite unsuccessfully at that, Alexander had kept his eyes on her the whole time. He introduced himself as Alexander, but told her to call him Goldfish. From that day on, she never did listen to him. Celeste was a tad bit uptight, and preferred to keep to his actual name over a cute nickname he had been given by his friends. Their relationship grew fast after that day. Celeste hadn’t ever come out around the public before she met Alex, but he was able to get her out of her shell. They became close friends within an instant, and in no time they were dating. It wasn’t hard to guess that they were the cutest couple in Hogwarts- Celeste always blushed hearing it, though she wouldn’t disagree. They were a damn great pair. Whenever he wasn’t with her, she missed him. The summer they spent at Celeste’s home in France had been amazing. They were a thing for beaches, and tended to meet wherever water was near. Alexander was perfect for her. He was always sweet, surprising her, kissing her forehead before he left to go home when he thought she had fallen asleep already, and watching the sunset with her snuggled into his arms. The two years they spent together were the best two years of her life. The memories were vivid as ever, even now so many years later. Celeste hadn’t ever thought about sex. The thought never really occurred to her as a possibility because, before Alex, she had little male contact and that was the way she preferred it. The half-veela was very insecure. No matter what she inherited beauty-wise, she had always been overly aware of everything about her body. Alexander never pressured her into sex, and they hadn’t really ever talked about it either. The night would be burned into her brain forever. Her first time had been special, just as every girl wished it to be, but not many actually had come true. The blonde’s first time with the Gryffindor had been on the beach. The two of them had been lying there, waiting for the sun to set, listening to the some waves come up to shore while others were further back into the sea, crashing into each other with loud, yet weirdly harmonic, splashes. He had whispered that he loved her in her ear, kissing the top of it softly. She remembered turning to him, kissing him on the lips and everything taking off from there. In the morning, she woke up folded into his bare chest, held there closely. The blonde had never felt more secure in her life. That moment, right with Alexander by her side, was her own personal heaven. She was sure nothing could get more perfect. The two continued to have a healthy sex life, though looking to the point she was at right now, clearly they hadn’t paid attention to one important thing: protection. It didn’t go to say that they weren’t safe, however Celeste did remember a time they found themselves at her beach house alone, no one expected to come and join them. The boathouse had never been a place they two had been really intimate, so condoms weren’t hidden anywhere around it. They had made a mutual decision that it would happen by not saying anything as they got closer and neither mentioned much afterwards. Celeste had many other things on her mind. For her, it was like an intoxicating cloud took over her brain when he was around her. He made her feel like she was on another planet, circling an alternate universe. Changing from reading books alone on the beach in secluded areas to spending all of her time with her boyfriend, giving herself fully to him and trusting that he would love her forever wasn’t exactly a minor lapse in life. It was major. She had never thought she would be lucky enough to have it happen to her. This was the kind of stuff that happened in her books! The fictional, romantic books! All of the perfection did turn out to have a flaw not too long after the miraculous moment she shared with him at the boathouse, though. This flaw? She was pregnant. Celeste had been in major denial. She could still remember sitting on the bathroom floor, twelve pregnancy tests in front of her, all showing that darn little pink positive sign. There was no guessing how long she had cried for, or how long she had stressed out about what she was going to do. Aborting the baby was just not an option. Celeste saw her baby was a living being. It was a part of her, and it was also a piece of Alexander. How could she kill that? How could ANYONE kill that? It wasn’t even a possibility. Celeste apperated home that night telling her parents what was going on and trying to figure out what to do with everything that had been laid out on her plate. That night when she disappeared from Hogwarts was the night that lead both of them to heartbreak, and Alexander not knowing who he own son was in the field four years later. The agonizing pain she had put herself through hadn’t been close to as much deciding as to when she had actually played out her little (this being a very un-dramatized choice of vocabulary, for sure) act of not never wanting to see him again, and that she hated him. Celeste would never be able to hate Alexander. No matter what he said to her, there wasn’t anything he could do. She would always love him. Forever and always, he had a place in her heart, just like their son did now. The look in Alexander’s eyes had been what hurt the most. It was unbearable to look at, and for months after she disappeared from the school, away from the only man she would ever love, it haunted her day in and day out. One thing and one thing only was what kept her from not curling up into a ball and neglecting herself. That thing was what had caused her to feel the need to do this: the baby they had created, together. Celeste knew that she had to keep herself in good shape, good health and good mindset. The last was the hardest of them all, as that was a challenge daily. It never did stop. She missed having Alexander Goldfish by her side, holding her whenever she was scared, or even if nothing was wrong and he just wanted her close. The feeling of being in love was magical; no other magic created by some wand could come close to comparing. Her bright blue eyes gazing into his for the first time in nearly five years (obviously counting the seven and a half months of pregnancy, Benjamin being a premature baby) this had to be the moment that was waiting to happen. This was where she would have to take whatever consequence waiting for her because of the decision she had made for the both of them, but by herself. "hi lettie." Celeste hadn’t let herself think of the nickname that he had given her, therefore hearing it out of nowhere hit a nerve. She had missed him so much. Would he ever forgive her for what she had done? Deep down, all along she knew what she was doing was wrong, but she wanted him to live a full, un-stressful life, without having to worry for a child they hadn’t created on purpose. She had been thinking of him, though not many people would see it as an honorable move. For a Ravenclaw, it was most likely one of the unwise decisions she ever would make. But hey, there was no take backs and she had learned one good thing from her sister over the years- “bitches be crazy.” Ellery had phrased her words in a.. different way than what Celeste was trying to live by. What her sister was trying to tell her was to “ignore talkers and don’t regret, just move forward.” It was wise advice, though those who didn’t know Ellery wouldn’t be able to look into it more like she had. Typically showing weakness to Ellery was the worst idea ever, this one time she had been surprised though. Celeste knew better than to think the miracle would continue though, and because of that she had kept track of herself more carefully ever since. ”I’m Benjamin. But you can still call me Benjamin.”

[/b][/i] rolling her eyes at her son, she smiled nervously and kept her eyes on Alex. ”His name is Benjamin Alexander Weasley. He’s your son.”[/b] swallowing, hard, she wasn’t sure what kind of reaction to expect from the man who had her heart raising from more than nerves, even after so many years.
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1704 WORDS , GOLDFISH , listening to A RTTM , I WANT RID OF THIS SCROLL !

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[alexander c. weasley]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi » losing your memory. seeing celeste for the first time since the break up was agonizing. sure, he'd caught a glimpse of her (or maybe it was ellery sometimes) once in a while around the college, or think he'd see her walking down the street or something, but this... really seeing her, talking to her, watching her every move the way he used to.... it was going to slowly kill him. he thought about her so often, loving the way she was so pristine in his memory, the way he remembered her from all the nights they spent in the common room together, and on the beach. in his mind, she was still the shy girl he met while his best mate tried to pick up her sister. he could remember the way she blushed when he gave her a few compliments. he could still remember the color in her cheeks from the first time he told her that he loved her, the feeling of her hair between his fingers as he absently twisted it, the softness of her skin against his lips, the shape of her shoulders... all of it was perfect preserved in his memory. her beauty was never disputed. everyone in the world knew celeste isadora harper was absolutely beautiful in comparison to any and every other girl in said world. it was as obvious as could be. but alex weasley was not drawn to her beauty. well, he was, but not just her beauty. her smile lit up the room. her laugh was contagious. and that little bit of insecurity always made him smile, in an odd way. where her sister was boastful and flaunted her looks, celeste was shy, and alex appreciated that. she was never cocky about anything the way ellery was, and modesty looked good on celeste. no matter how many times he told her she was beautiful, she would always blush, which would cause him to grin from ear to ear. there were too many things that he adored about her. but seeing her in front of him, seeing all the things he always adored again was better then he could ever have imagined. his fingers ached to touch her hair again, to run them through it over and over until it seemed he knew every strand by heart. his arms ached to pull her close to him. his voice ached to tell her he still loved her, and wanted her back. all of him ached for her. she was such a strong presence. she always had been. alex was content to just... bask in it. he always had been. his eyes took all of her in, from her light hair to her blue eyes, to her long torso, her thin legs, her tiny feet. everything about her was missed. this was the girl he spent countless sleepless nights thinking about, plucking at the strings on his guitar until his fingers couldn't take it, hoping to write the perfect song to win her back. this was the girl he almost ruined a friendship for. this was the only girl he ever loved, the only girl he'd ever been with, the girl maverick would frequently remind him that he was "whipped" by. fish could never be maverick- his m.o. was casual sex, one night stands, and flirting with every girl in sight. alex couldn't be that guy. not after celeste. he remembered their time on the beach vividly, how she was the one to kiss him, how it felt, waking up to her in his arms. nothing could describe the bliss he felt when he saw her there, asleep in his arms. it was in those moments that he knew they belonged together. if there was any doubt before, it was gone when he was with her. he just knew they belonged together. there was no denying it. sex or not, they were perfect together. they always had been. alex always liked thinking about the past when the thought of celeste came up. the past was still preserved perfectly in his mind. the present, however, was a mess. there he was, standing in the feild, not quite knowing what to do. there she was, gorgeous as ever, holding the hand of a four year old kid that very well could've been his. yes, she could have been baby sitting the kid. sure, it could belong to ellery (there would be no shock that she got knocked up, just maybe that she kept it), or their little sister, or brother or something. but no. he called her 'mum'. so it was lettie's kid. and as far as he knew, the only guy celeste had ever been with... was him. and the timing just fit. raking through all the memories he had with her, he tried to remember if and when they weren't protected. most of the time, fish had a condom in his wallet (or twenty in his pocket, thanks to best friend maverick and his need to embarrass fish every three seconds), and they were pretty much always prepared. but there was... once. he didn't have his wallet on him, and they got a bit carried away. once. and once was all it took. he looked down at the child again, and into his eyes. those were lennox's eyes. he and his sister had the exact same eyes. those... were his eyes. before he could quite register what was going on, he spoke. "benjamin, eh? good, sturdy name. no nicknames, man? well, if you ever meet my friend maverick, he'll be sure to give you a nickname." alex said with a smile. he stuck out his hand. "nice to meet you benjamin." he said before shaking his tiny hand, then proceeding to stand up. "yeah, i uh... kind of gathered that. he's got my mum's eyes. my eyes." he said, his voice a lot deeper then he expected. he looked between his son and the girl he adored. "but he looks just like you, lettie." he said, trying to force a smile. but it wasn't happening. he was a dad. he had a son. he pushed a hand through his hair and shook his head, taking a large breath before pacing in a circle. well, so much for those band dreams of his. they just found a drummer, and he was going to have to give up the band. he loved music, and he loves his mates, but his son, his family was more important. how was he going to tell his parents? how was he going to tell his sister? how was he going to tell maverick? maverick was going to stop having sex for a year when he found out about this. maverick had more sex than a goddamn jack rabbit, and yet he never got a girl pregnant. so fish forgot a condom once, and he ended up with a kid? how was that even fair? and why didn't celeste even... tell him? "lettie, when were you going to tell me? were you going to tell me? why... why didn't you tell me before? like... when it happened?" lettie, i heart them , 1184

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[celeste i. harper]

if i could just see you

i think of you, and wonder if you ever think of me too

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] IN YOUR MEMORY ! "mavick? i know a mavick too! mummy, tell him about mav-mav! from my storybook!" Celeste chuckled down at her son, a subtle, guilty grin appearing on her face. the Ravenclaw girl knew that Alexander's friends meant a lot to him. it was more than obvious. in her mind, if they had ever been around each other again, she wanted Benjamin to be appear of some of his father's life. to do so, she had gone to the muggle world and made personal stories that read with her voice, going through different memories she had that could show their personalities off, yet in a twisted, children's story way. with that, she had put moving pictures in a book with names below. however, she had yet to show that one to him. she was afraid he would go looking if he knew that they were real and not just from the stories she bought for him. "you'd be surprised at how much he knows about Mav-Mav already hun." she assured him, well aware that Maverick would disapprove of being called 'mav-mav' but her little boy was six, and whether they were ever even going to meet was out on the table for debate, therefore she had never really cared much for stopping him from making up his own names. feeling the need to curl up into a tight, confined space all by herself was growing more and more with the urge inside of her. she wanted to run and cry. not feel the things she felt when looking into his eyes, see the hurt and confusion she knew were to be expected. Celeste was afraid that he would raise his voice at her. one of the many things she never dealt well with was a risen voice. tones got to her quite easily, especially if she was in trouble. her throat would swell up, her eyes would start to burn and tears would be threatening to surface, even if she did all she could to stop them and knew that it was going to be okay. it had always been this way and although it had been years since she had seen the love of her life, she was pretty sure he would still be aware of it. however, that didn't mean it would stop him and honestly, she didn't expect it too. if it were the opposite way around, she would most likely be screaming. that is, if she weren't so low-tempered and more of a taken aback person than appalled. knowing that this was the time, Celeste had to make the surroundings that were presented for the news-breaking time as best as they can be. to start off, no Benjamin listening in or hearing stuff that he really could do without. Celeste was well aware that kids caught on more than parents typically gave them credit for. "Benjie boy? she spoke out after a moment, looking down at their son. "how about you show your new.. friend." the blonde paused and swallowed before continuing on. "how well you can shoot over there at the close net we set up?" gesturing to it, he would still be in her sights and while he was, they could talk about this whole mess she had created years ago behind his back. after watching Benjamin run as fast as his little legs could carry him towards the net, she started to take the time she had to register what had changed in Alexander. Celeste automatically noticed that his hair was longer. not a whole lot, but still- longer than he had worn it back when they had still been dating. she knew little things such as this quite well because of the fact that she had spent many nights running her fingers through it aimlessly, talking away as she did so, losing track of her hand movements over time. years back, when Alexander had been in her life, she had noticed that when he was frustrated and/or lost and unsure of what to do, he ran his fingers through his hair. right at the moment when he did the exact same thing, her stomach tightened. no matter how long had passed, she beat herself that she still knew him a lot better than other people. well, that was if he didn't have another girlfriend. oh. my. merlin. DID he have another girlfriend? could he? was she be prettier? did they have a lot of sex? that was her job. her responsibility. he wasn't allowed to do that to her! getting carried away, she remembered that no matter how many habits he had the same, they weren't the same. she had no right to dictate that kind of stuff. he wasn't hers- she had given him up so he could follow his dreams instead of raising a kid and feeling 'stuck' with her. a word Ellery had laughed and said he would consider himself for the rest of his life. stupidly, Celeste had believed he would. the blonde lacked common sense sometimes, no matter how well she knew somebody. sighing, she started to speak up. "i always do think of you when he wakes up in the morning." at first, mornings were heart-breaking. it was hard to look at her son without wanting to cry. over time it got easier, but that didn't go to say she still felt the ache in her chest. biting her lip, Celeste could feel a ramble coming on. she had to tell him what had happened.. but would he hate her? she didn't want him to hate her, even if he had cause. she loved him too much and selfishly, she didn't think she could handle that. he deserved it though. it was his right. Celeste knew she had to stop keeping him out of the loop. it was about time she gave Benjamin an opportunity to have both of his parents around, instead of just her and his 'Uncle' Phoenix. the half-veela wasn't sure what she would have done without the Slytherin friend. with him, she was comfortable knowing that Benjamin wouldn't turn out to girly because, in all honesty, she didn't know enough about guys. there had been far too many incidents when she had been peed on because of lack of speedy diaper swaps. "yes, i was going to tell you.. i... i.. i just didn't know when!" she exclaimed, looking down at the ground. she wasn't proud of her choice, but she wasn't ashamed of it either. in her mind, it made sense. she had done the right thing in some ways. nobody would agree fully, ever. what done was done, though, and so she was going to live with it. the emotions, the pain and the 'what if's were a package she was ready to handle. all things she had accepted that she would face for a consequence from her choice. that was when the flood came. "i found out i was pregnant after taking twelve pregnancy tests. i fainted and had to go to the hospital wing. i went home after that and told my parents, and went for a walk on the boardwalk with Harper to clear my mind and decide what i was going to do... it was then that i didn't i had to transfer to beauxbatons. there was no power strong enough to get me to give up the miracle we created, no matter how young. my choice was to not tell you, to let you live on and fulfill your dream of having a band. a child would hold you back from that, and i didn't want you to feel obligated or resent me or hate on the kid for not happening after you had lived your teenage years out. Ellery said that you would never forgive me for being so selfish and keeping it." no matter how stupid it sounded, she had believed what her sister said, therefore she had let it slip. it was obvious something was off when she was listening to her twin; the girl was truly psychotic. taking a deep breath, she felt the knot coming up from her throat, squeezing tight. looking into his eyes this whole time, she wasn't sure what to expect. 1372 WORDS , ALEX WEASLEY , listening to KEITH URBAN<3 , MAY BE ALL OVER, SORRY!

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