SHE AIN'T YOU --- * [ lydia ]

[eli]

wanna leave but i'm afraid you don't feel the same, now i realise; she ain't you

it was a well known fact that eli rowle was on the prowl almost twenty-four/seven. it wasn't strictly true; he worked hard at school to manage the grades that he did, and trained for quidditch at least twice a week – generally more. but to most people, those things didn't matter. and eli didn't care. if anything, he encouraged those thoughts. girls and the occasional guy knowing he was almost always up for sex was a good thing, in his mind. because he was almost always up for sex – and people knowing that he meant that he got what more often. of course, he could get it from cassie almost all of the time that he wanted to, but if he'd tried to do that then he and cassie would never have lasted as long as they had. monogamy wasn't to either of their tastes, no matter how hot his girlfriend was. he liked having freedom; the ability to choose what he wanted and take it, without feeling guilty. well, except when he came to lydia. lydia was just... different. they might have disagreed about almost everything in existence at one time or another, but that didn't matter. anyway, they agreed on sex. and that was the only thing that actually existed between them. eli had cassie, and lydia had... well, lydia had lydia. he didn't think that she would ever need someone – or want someone – the way that eli couldn't help but think about sometimes. not that he'd actually ever think about telling anyone. those were the sort of feelings that he wouldn't even tell mav about, for merlin's sake. which meant that it was serious; and that he had a damn good reason for hiding them. in this case, there were two very good reasons and in this case, their names were cassie and lydia. lydia would laugh in his face (and then he'd never get to touch her again, and then he'd never get to touch her again, which would be an absolutely horrible waste of sexual chemistry), and cassie...

well, eli was lucky to have someone like cassie, to be quite frank. and there were times when he could look at lydia then look at cassie and think that he didn't really have feelings for lydia. because he was happy with cassie; their relationship just worked. it probably worked better than any hypothetical relationship that he and lydia could ever possibly have. but he couldn't help but think about the alternative; it was probably just in his nature. and then there was the fact that he was fairly certain that he and cassie had a used by date. after all, cassie was so smart that it was hard to fathom sometimes. when they both graduated, there were going to be completely different paths ahead of them. cassie was going to be doing something so far beyond eli's grasp it wasn't even funny, and eli was going to be struggling his way through the hours of a junior healer at st mungo's. they were going to be worlds apart and to be frank, eli couldn't see them graduating still together. he cared about her a lot, but he was pretty sure that after two years being together, you were meant to love the other person. he didn't love cassie – not like that. he'd never said otherwise. he might have been a dick, but he wasn't one to cassie (excluding the whole having feelings for something else thing), and he wasn't going to lie to her. she'd never told him, either, so at least there was that. that didn't exactly stop him from feeling like it had to mean that this was going to come to an end. between those feelings and the almost unending stream of lydia lydia lydia lately, he couldn't help but feel like he was doing the wrong thing by staying with her. not that it would really change things for either of them, but it still felt a bit wrong.

eli fucking hated those thoughts. he liked enjoying himself, not stressing over relationship issues that he should not be having. so he might have been pushing himself with quidditch and schoolwork a little harder since the year had started. things over summer had been easier; he hadn't seen lydia much at all, so those particular feelings had been buried under the layer of time for a while. after seeing her again, though, they'd come bursting through that layer once more. especially since he had seen her with that slytherin asshole sabriel jordan. okay, so maybe he hadn't had any particular issue with him before this year, but right now he had the urge to hex his face. not that it was a particularly attractive face; eli thought that he looked like a bulldog. or something. whatever it was that he looked like, it wasn't hot, and he shouldn't be around lydia. it was like an ape touching a... well, a princess. the thought had him scowling, running his fingers through his still-damp hair. he'd spent an extra hour on the quidditch pitch after everyone else had left and then longer than was probably masculine in the shower. it wasn't that he was avoiding cassie, really, it was just... that he wasn't seeking her out. he wasn't seeking lydia out, either, but somehow, he'd managed to run into her anyway. it was only from the back, but he'd recognise lydia from any angle – had probably seen her from every angle. and even though he knew, intellectually, that this was a fucking terrible idea, he always had struggled to stay away from lydia zabini. walking up behind her, he didn't bother to suppress his smirk as he wrapped an almost possessive arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. “evening, princess,” he murmured against her skin, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume.

tagged to lydia - 1026 words - outfit - <3

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[lydia]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #f1f1f1] Fire in the crowd just to Watch you move Tie your hands and demand a salute All these gardens filled with snakes relationships, whether fake or otherwise, were tedious. so this was why she never bothered anymore. after such a long time of being just lydia, with the occasional appearance of a guy or two for more than just a day, she was out of shape with this whole relationship thing. the closest she had come in a long time was her month or two long tryst with lucian flint, who was now dating a gryffindor muggleborn- both of which she disliked greatly. but other than that, it had been too long since lydia was in a relationship. it wasn't like that was a bad thing. she had enough sex to make a nun fall over and die. relationships had never really been her thing in the first place. her first one ended with her being talked about, and having a bit of an obsession with sex, and the second completely shattered her. she swore them off at a young age, not wanting anything to happen to her again. she'd forgotten what it was like, being in a relationship, even if this one was simply fake and nothing more. when she went into this thing she had with sabriel- she didn't know if it really counted as a relationship or not- she knew there were no feelings involved. she knew that it was just a convenient way for the both of them to get what they wanted. it had nothing to do with feelings- that much was for sure. it was simple; both sabriel and lydia were pureblood slytherins that just so happened to love sex as much as the other did. it also happened that they both couldn't really have the one they wanted, so this was the only way things were going to happen. it was just that simple. to the public, they were a couple, but in truth, all they were was friends with benefits, with a few more strings and some jealousy and possession issues. that was what made this whole... relationship work. the both of them were jealous people- at least when it came to each other- and had some issues with their possessive instincts. though it wasn't like she was jealous because she thought someone was going to steal him away or something, she was jealous of the other girls, simply for the fact that- because he was going for them, it meant lydia wasn't enough. on the other hand, sabriel would never be enough for her either. not as long as eli rowle continued to exist. elias rowle was the reason and the curse to her existence. they met when they were in their first year, in their first class, and ever since, she all but wanted to kill him on most days. he was a dick and a half, but it was what she adored about him. he was... well, he was something alright. how they had managed not to kill each other over the past eight years was beyond her, but she wouldn't have it any other way. what started out as a bit of an annoyance became one interesting friendship between the two of them, to say the least. they never stopped picking on each other. if they did, the world would know something was wrong with the both of them. despite the house he was sorted into, elias was scarily similar to lydia. he had a similar sense of humor, and they just... carried themselves the same way. it probably came with the territory of being a rowle. but there was always just something about him that made lydia want to scream, but she could not live without him. it wasn't even a remote possibility.if not eli, who would she have to go to when she wanted sex, and not from anyone else? if not eli, who knew every single one of her weak spots, and how to use them against her? if not eli, who would she have to completely dismember when she was angry, only to fall into his arms later? if not eli, who would she go to when no one else wanted her, when she had no one to be with? if not eli, who would make her forget anything and everything she needed to forget? if not eli... then who? without eli, lydia zabini would quite literally be a non-feeling, ice cold bitch. as awful and fucking sappy as it was, eli rowle was the only person that could make lydia feel... anything except for a love for sex. after once putting too much emotion into anything, she'd become a colder person, and would've been even colder if not for eli. and for that, she owed him quite a bit. but that didn't matter. eli had cassie. he had cassie for two years now. that was longer then lydia had reckoned they would be together. of course, it wasn't a real relationship, was it? if it was, lydia doubted she would eli at all. when they were together, things just got... the two of them were a chemical reaction, really. and even if lydia had no problem with it now, if he was in a legitimate relationship, she doubted she would be able to keep this all up. it was one thing to be the other woman for a few months, but for two years? she couldn't take. knowing that she was just something on the side while he ran back to his perfect little girlfriend was hard enough as it were, and she wasn't the only one he was seeing on the side. if they were extremely serious... it would hurt too much. there were multiple times lydia almost came out and said "i want you to break up with cassie." however, the most that came out was "i want you." which wasn't that surprising for the both of them, and they just fell back into the normal routine of sleeping together. the only thing that kept coming to mind was 'why ruin a good thing?' the way they were functioning worked for the both of them. why ruin what they had? this was all too much, honestly. it was more then she wanted to think about right now. all she wanted was to be with him right now, but she always let him find her... unless she really, really wanted him. it was how the both of them worked. wandering the halls just seemed like a good way to clear her head anyway. she didn't feel like hanging around in the common room when she could so easily run into sabriel, which she just didn't want at the moment. she was thinking too much about eli to want to be around sabriel. in a pair of simple skinny jeans, a tank top and her hair pulled to the side of her neck, she didn't feel overly sexy, nor did she want to. for once in her life, she didn't want to look like she was asking for it. not unless she ran into eli. she could be wearing a turtle neck and still look like she was asking for it for him. she'd reached the end of the hallway and was just about to turn when she felt a familiar pair of lips on the back of her neck and was pulled toward someone by a protective arm she knew too well. her eyes closed as he kissed her neck, smiling. "fancy seeing you here." she said, turning around to face him. it was hard to suppress a smile when she was around him. he had that effect on her. wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, lydia pulled herself closer to eli, playing with the back of his seemingly wet hair. "what brings you out tonight?" she asked, simply loving the closeness between them. I need less drowning and more land tags: eli word count: 1302 lyrics: mercy by matt nathanson this template was made by madcap @ caution.

[eli]

]

wanna leave but i'm afraid you don't feel the same, now i realise; she ain't you

god, she was the most gorgeous girl that he could find. the thought flew into his head before he could stop it; before he could think of cassie and remember that lydia wasn't his girlfriend. she wasn't meant to be the most important girl in his life. oh, but she was. and she would be as long as she stuck around him, he was almost certain about that. her smell, the way that she felt there, in his arms... it was something that he could drown in forever. it was something that he could live with forever. if he wasn't so scared of the fact that he'd get laughed at and pushed away, he could have told her that. maybe they could have even worked something out between the two of them, a way for them both to be happy – happy together, even. but lydia didn't have those sort of feelings. not for him, and not for anyone. so he went along with his relationship with cassie, watching lydia and remaining... well, as content as he could in this situation. it wasn't that he didn't like cassie, but... he had more history with lydia, that was for sure. the two of them had been friends since the first day of hogwarts, after all, even if friends might have been a stretch back then; and unusual from the day that they could, realistically, be called friends. they'd been friends before the sex, but when the sex between them started there was no way either of them wanted to stop it. it was.... electric, to say the least. the only girl who even went close to that sort of chemistry with eli was cassie, who was just a complete freak in bed. not that eli was complaining – of course not. but with lydia, that wasn't required. they just...clicked. in absolutely every sense of the word. that thought made him sigh a little and tighten his grip around her, raising an eyebrow down at the girl in his arms. she just felt so good, so warm and comfortable... so right. and he wasn't about to let her go, especially when she was the one to press herself closer to him.

"not really fancy, princess, i leave that up to you," he said with a smirk, trailing his fingers down her back to brush over her hip gently. jeans, singlet... she could have been wearing that, or lingerie, or a damn burqa and he would have found her gorgeous. the heat just rose from her like it did from a flame; attracting him to her like a moth to a flame, too. slowly, he licked his lips, looking her over as much as he could when they were pressed this close. merlin, she was beautiful. "maybe i was just cruising around the corridors looking to rescue a princess from a dragon... or a snake," he added as an afterthought, scowling at the thought of sabriel jordan. merlin, he hated that guy; he shouldn't be able to be close to lydia. he didn't deserve her. and okay, so they maybe he didn't either, but at least he had time with her on his side. jordan just looked like a bulldog who'd been run over by a dump truck. he slid his hand to her lower back, underneath her tank top to press against her bare skin; it wasn't even about sex (yet), but the feelings of possession that he couldn't help but feel in relation to lydia. dropping his mouth to her neck, he pressed a single kiss to just below her jaw line before pulling back and his smile turning a little more genuine.

"i finished quidditch practise and figured i might come see if i could find you. haven't seen you around much this year, you know that, princess?" he said, weaving a few half-truths and maybe one lie in a way that hid his feelings – well, he hoped so, anyway. he didn't want her to figure it out any time soon, that was for sure. lifting a hand, he curled a few strands of hair around his finger and smirked at her, trying to keep his lips to himself, at least a little. now he wanted to do far more than he'd been planning tonight; just from being in her presence for a relatively short time. how the fuck did she do this to him? no one else had this effect on him. no one. not even cassie could. it was just... insane, merlin. and it wasn't just because she was hot; well, she was, of course, but there were other girls that he'd barely look at because their... something... didn't measure up to what lydia was. he had to stop thinking about that in her presence, though, because thinking about that sort of thing and not actually coming out and saying it wasn't exactly normal for the hufflepuff. "what are you up to, then? just hanging around the corridors, waiting for me to come along and sweep you off your feet?" his words were dripping in sarcasm, but it didn't stop him from hoping that one day, she'd say yes. that that was what she wanted. that she was bored with just having sex and wanted something more, something real from eli. but he knew that wouldn't happen. he wasn't that delusional, that was for sure.

tagged to lydia - 906 words - outfit - <3

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