ghost of you - acan

[katerina d. carrow]

And through the rising and falling apart, We discover who we are

After having the blankets ripped clean off her body and water being poured over her sleeping body, katerina had been successful awakened. She was also very pissed off. She looked at the females in her dormitory the ones responsible for her current wet dog appearance and snarled. A few of them flinched and katerina exhaled slowly. She looked at the analog clock that hung over the entrance door of the dormitory. It was four o’clock on a Saturday. Everyone and that meant everyone, knew that katerina and katetherine slept until night time and then she got up from a any type of party the night before. Being up at four was not acceptable for her. However, she had no choice since she was already awake. The sheets on her bed were soaked. She was soaked. This action would not go unpunished. katerina exhaled slowly and grabbed a towel from the top of her trunk and wrapped it around her head. She narrowed her eyes at the other girls around her and pulled the bottom sheet from her mattress. they silently knew that they needed to fix everything before the night. She pointed to her pillowcases, the comforter, and the two sheets. She looked over at the girls around her. She knew some of their names but honetly never really cared. she looked only for a second at katherine's untouched bed.

The brunette then opened her trunk, ignoring whatever her roommates said mind you, and pluck out some random articles, that had the same general color scheme of clothing for her to walk from the showers in. katerina groaned at the wet feeling on her back and legs as she walked down the stairs from her dorm to the washroom. katerina wandered into the bathroom and dropped her things on a bench near the shower area. The brunette heard the shower start as she peeled off her wet clothes. She tossed them to the side and stepped into the scolding hot water. She jumped at how hot the water was, she mentally cursed herself, and promised to work on her concentration for her wandless magic after she left here. She turned the water’s temperature down, manually the use of non magic drove her insane, she was a witch now she needed to start learning how to use wandless magic in order to make her live less of a living hell. She showered slowly, enjoying the heat. The nineteen year old dressed quickly and dried her hair in the towel. She looked at herself in the mirror and groaned. She had to remember that white shirts and water didn’t mix. She could see every black polka dot on her baby blue bra. She shook her head. The white fabric also clung lightly to her stomach and back. katerina shrugged she didn’t care. The corridors and stairs had been pretty empty when she came up, so why would it be any different going down? She exited the washroom, bra visible and everything, not really caring.

The images that came at her head came too quickly and she wasn’t able to hold herself up. She fell to the floor in a matter of seconds, placed her legs towards her chest and tried unsuccessfully to get air into her chest and she continued to cry over the one person that brought complete uncontrol of her emotions. The one person that she wanted her thoughts to not revolve around. The one person that she truly hated for leaving alone. her best friend, her sister she walked into the first place she could and found herself in the auditorium, the piano right on the center stage. katerina walked towards it being drawn to it and let her fingers run through the keys. she sat down and closed her eyes playing the first thing that came to mind to get in control of her emotions, she hadn't played in so long. she stood up and grabbed some music sheets from inside the piano. she was lucky, the last person to use the piano had left a pencil. she started that way remembering and fixing a song that she had written with her sister, but they had only gotten the first two lines. "Theres the voice that's in the air," she wrote the chords down and closed her eyes again. what came next? "Sayin' don't look back no where," she wrote it down again, she let the music can control of what would be written down, she left the music guide her. "Theres a voice that's always there," thoughts of her sister crammed into her mind but she was too focused to focus on those thoughts. "And I'll never be quite the same as I was before," she stopped once more to write down what was coming to her so quickly. she placed the pencil down and concentrated on the keys in front of her. "This part of you still remains oh it's out of focus," in a matter of minutes the entire song was done, sudden muse coming to her out of no where. she looked at the words in front of her and sighed. this was the best thing she had ever written, the most powerful at least and meaningful so much power into one sung. she looked at the words and saw the head lights, saw her sister, their last laugh, saw her family turn their back on her. a single tear rolled down her cheeks.

tag open, 909, picture to caution, white tee and shorts, some one take it?

[acanthus a. macdougal]

standing on top of the world tonight, noone's lookin' back at you

acanthus macdougal couldn't function without her morning cup of starbucks. it just wasn't going to happen. especially not now that the head nurse had decided to catch the flu and stay in for the remainder of the week....or month, whatever. until the old bat got better, everyone was instructed to bring their problems to acan. which meant, naturally, that acanthus also had to make the head nurse's weekly run to the university, just to make sure that they were well-stocked with medical supplies and all that garbage. why the head nurse had volunteered herself for such a job was beyond acanthus, but she had. five years after volunteering, and the head nurse still made visits to the university. no one else wanted the job, naturally -- they had better things to do than pop in and check on the college nurses. acanthus was one of those people....but given the fact that she wanted that head nurse position with all she had, she'd do just about anything to keep herself in the head nurse's good graces, where she currently -- luckily enough -- was.

and honestly enough, she really couldn't gripe. while the HN was out, she was getting a small taste of what it would be like when she took over the position. sure, it made her feel all tingly and warm on the inside when she thought about being the overseer of the entire hospital -- to have everyone at her beck and call -- but who wouldn't be excited about that? she was sure that aiden would he happy for her....but then again, aiden was always happy for her. he was her best friend, that's what he was supposed to do. and besides, she brought him coffee. without him even asking. that had to mean something, right? at least aiden would be happy for her, when it came time for her to move up to head nurse -- her fiance....not so much. declan hated the thought of his future wife working all the time. he wanted her home; nowhere else. declan wanted a nice little housewife, someone who would give him children and wash the dishes in a little white apron. oh, merlin....was he in for a shocker.

after visiting the university's relatively small hospital wing, acanthus pulled a polite smile to her face as she shook the nurse's hand. "now be sure to let us know if you need anything, glenda. we're always happy to lend a hand." yeah, right. acanthus would be practically running to the entrance by the time the young nurse was out of sight. the young, petite blonde nodded and smiled, shutting the door silently behind acan. well, that was certainly easier than expected. having attended the university herself, acanthus half-expected to see someone that she knew -- but as she passed by a few of the classrooms, she hadn't found any faces that she recognized. acanthus inwardly sighed as she passed by the auditorium, before stopping and walking back to the door. she hadn't been at the university in quite some time, and she did have the rest of the afternoon off...what was the harm in reminiscing, really? acan pushed the door open, stepping inside and smiling instantly. down at the stage was one person she immediately recognized -- it was aiden's little sister, katarina. acan knew that it was still hard for the carrow family, after losing katherine. and despite the air of hostility that surrounded a few of the relationships between him and his siblings, she still enjoyed spending time with them. moving down the stairs at a slightly faster pace, she stopped and sat in one of the seats in the first row. she listened as katarina fnished the song, then smiled. "you play very wonderfully," she said softly, then tilted her head as she noticed a tear sliding down her cheek. "are you alright?" acanthus moved up to the stage, sitting down at the end of the piano stool. "you can talk to me, you know." she said, offering a small smile. despite being aiden's best friend, anything that katarina told her would be in complete confidence.

TAGGED FOR ALEX. HOPE IT'S ALRIGHT THAT I SNAGGED THISSS. <3

[katerina d. carrow]

And through the rising and falling apart, We discover who we are

playing the piano was like playing for herself but better yet playing for her sister. it was an incredible feeling that over took katerina she took each note by note trying harder and harder to not cry in order to finish the song that her sister had started but never got to finish. it should have been her. it should been her she had always been the weaker one. katherine was the one that had stuck out, she went out and was adventurous, she went, had sex and lived a life while katerina stayed behind her books, putting them up and using them as protecting. katerina couldn't help but think back to that night though, where it had all happened. aiden had told them how dangerous those muggle concerts where, told them that it was better that they stayed home. katerina agreed. until she got grounded and she got angry at her parents and her siblings for taking sides. the twins were out the window and into a muggle car before anyone had noticed. they went to a concert, katherine had sex with some hot guy in some strange place and katerina got offered the same thing but she kindly refused preferring to hold on to her v card for just a tad longer. that when katherine gave katerina a drink and told her to loosen up and so she did. in the beginning katerina was supposed to drive home but when the drinks came pilling on and on, katherine took the took the wheel, with a few drinks on her herself. nothing that she couldn't had driven with. however one thing that katerina will never forget was looking left and seeing the headlights of the truck and then the mirror of fear crashing into her. and then blackness.

and then acan's voice. this was no longer part of the memory but part of reality. she was no longer writing the song and playing it. she was siting in the auditorium with acan. when had she come in? katerina placed her hands softly on the keys so that they wouldn't make any noise. it wasn't easy being her. she would sometimes rather be the twin with the dream catcher on the other side of her body. "thank you," she whispered softly looking down. this was her brothers best friend. she hadn't seen her her brother in forever. aiden and katherine had been so close oh so close. and aiden had told them to stay home they should have listened. katerine sighed, the ravie witty snappy side coming out of her. "are you alright? really? acan? raelly? how would you feel if you lost your sister," she started to tear up. "your best friend." more tears. everything was coming down all in one spill "yours brothers." she thought of the way aiden had looked when katherine died "your mother, your father, your house. everything. in one day. would you be alright?" katerina shut blinked the tears away and shut the piano making herself jump. loud noises still frighted her. everything still frighted her, she still felt like she was down, crumbled. her next words stopped her thought. she could talked to her. she turned to look at her. "i just - i just miss her so much," she shook her head softly. "i should have been driving," she whispered "i should have died that night,"

tag acan, picture to caution, white tee and shorts, so so sad

[acanthus a. macdougal]

standing on top of the world tonight, noone's lookin' back at you

luckily enough, acanthus macdougal didn't really know what it was like to be without one of her loved ones. her brother was at the university (which she frequently visited), and her parents....well, she couldn't have gotten more close to them had she tried. ramona was all up in everyone's business, so needless to say her daughter was never an exception. as for her father, well. acan had always been closer to her father -- he had shared pieces of his childhood that he had never even told ramona about. not that she would have cared, anyway -- nine times out of ten, that woman wasn't even in the macdougal house. for years, acan had thought that her mother was with someone else, sneaking around while her father happily watched acan and her brother. but that didn't seem to be the case so much anymore; ramona was just set in her own ways, and there was no changing that. even so, acanthus wouldn't have traded her mother for anything. even though she threatened to toss her in a broom closet somewhere and forget about her, in the end she couldn't have done it. well, actually..... no, no. she couldn't do that. well, she could, but she would have gotten caught one way or the other. so really, it was best that she didn't. her brother, though....they were close. incredibly close. but despite having a sibling of her own, acan couldn't identify with the pain that katerina was going through. what the whole family had went through, really. katerina's brother, aiden, was the closest friend acanthus had, and still she wondered how he was coping with the loss. they were best friends, but aiden still kept quite a bit of his private life just that -- private. meaning that not even acan had been able to break through those walls just yet. it was a sad thing, not knowing if he was alright or not -- but in the end, she safely assumed that, like everyone else, he was having a difficult time with it. losing a sibling was difficult in itself -- but katerina had lost her twin sister, and that....well, that was something else entirely. twins were supposedly closer than average siblings; at least, that's what acan had heard. and although she was incredibly close to her brother, she couldn't imagine spending her entire life mourning over him. had he been her twin brother, that would have been understandable. so in that sense, acan worried about katerina more than she did aiden.

contrary to what many people would be subject to thinking, acanthus cared about aiden's siblings. though it really wasn't her place to, she wanted them to understand that she would have been there for them had they needed her. she was a healer, afterall, and if any of them had any medical ailments, they would have probably ended up seeing her anyway. she never made house calls, but for her family and aiden's, she would always make an exception. as acan offered a small smile, she nodded. "of course." she had taken piano lessons herself, when she was younger -- but halfway through them, she managed to find something else to capture her attention. therefore, she never really finished learning how to play. acan released a small sigh, nodding again as her head tilted to the side for a moment. katherine's death was still fresh on katerina's mind, as it probably would be for a while. aiden probably had the same thing on his mind, though acanthus never bothered to ask him about it. "i'm so sorry about katherine. i know this isn't easy for you. i can't even say that i know what you're going through.... but if you ever need anyone, anyone at all, i'm always around here somewhere." acan paused, watching her jump as she closed the piano. merlin, where was aiden at a time like this? had it been her own brother, she would have expected him around somewhere to comfort her. katerina deserved the same treatment. "of course you do," she nodded. katerina's next few words made acan shake her head, suddenly sitting upright. "if it were my brother, i would say the exact same thing. but you're still here for a reason, katerina. there are so many people that love you, and so many people that are happy that you're alive and well." and as far as acan knew, it was the truth. it would be impossible for words alone to do much good, but it would always be better than saying nothing at all.

TAGGED FOR ALEX | SADNESS. :[

[katerina d. carrow]

And through the rising and falling apart, We discover who we are

there was one thing that her big brother aiden was never really big on and the entire family carrow knew. aiden hated showing any sort of emotion. he was never really big on it. he hated it actually. kat and kathy had come to terms to it long when they were younger but katherine never really had to come to terms to it because aiden seemed to love her since the beginning though katerina didn't have to thnk twice about how or why. everyone loved kathy, she was charming, lovable and an all around great person. sometimes she tried to sneak her way into things but other than that she was every guy's dream girl and kat had lived in her shadow for a while but she wouldn't change anything about it. she loved her sister and hated being blamed for what had happened to her. it was like everything had come down to her being who bought the tickets. yes it was her birthday present to kathy but she hadn't come up with the idea to drive, she hadn't told herself fot losen up and drink, she hadn't gotten into a fight with aiden that night, she hadn't said that they needed to sneak out in order to get notice in a house where they were just two in five. kat realized that night that she would never be one in five... and oddly enough she loved the feeling of being able to be happy with being two in five.

the song, ghost of you rang in her mind a couple of times after she finsihed playing it, she was a music major but she hadn't written a song in so long. kathy had taken kat's muse with her when she left though katerina had expected just as much if not more. katerina was sometimes shocked that she was able to get out of bed and function let alone write an entire coherent song. she'd lost everything that was important to her, she'd lost someone that she couldn't live without and somehow she was living. katerina sighed. it was strange when people offered to be there for her when her own brothers couldn't even look at her. when her mother looked at her and burst into such a state of sobs that her father ordered her into the lestrange house, when turner finally came up to her and told her that he didn't blame her and that he missed katherine too, the tears that were cried that night. so many things had happened but katerina knew that the climb to recovery had only just begun and it was going to be a long one. "i know... i'm just not used to having people be there for me after my family turned away and all,"

[/color] katerina looked down. making noises that scared yourself was something that she hated. it was scary the fact that big bangs made her want to hide and bright light made her cower in corner because she was so scared. katerina shook her head. "not my family. they would rather have my sister. they liked her so much more. she was peppy, she was charming, lovable everything they wanted in a daughter. i'm just the follower in their mind. i'm the murderer,"[/color][/div]

tag acan, picture to caution, white tee and shorts, she secretly loves acan for helping her

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